


Skeleton Shenanigans and the Landlady (SSLL Bonus Chapters)

by Tyrant_Tortoise



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Female Reader, Reverse Harem, SSLL, alternate takes on scenes, bonus chapters, but pretty much all of this is canon, scenes from the POV of the skeles, skeletal shenanigans, so you really need to read that to understand this, this is a companion fic for Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady, tropes for days son
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-09 05:25:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 28,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11097813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyrant_Tortoise/pseuds/Tyrant_Tortoise
Summary: A companion fic forSkeleton Squatters and the Landlady.  I'm posting up all my bonus chapters here so they don't get lost within the depths ofmy tumblr.These include scenes from the skeletons' POVs and insights to their behavior pre-Landlady.





	1. Ch 5: Stretch gets back-up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ask was: "Could you give us a lil bit of insight on how things went down when Stretch decided to grab BB from reader's house? It seems like Red was a lil tad bit out of place in that car, if that makes sense?"

Stretch hung up the phone, his body tense. He kept reading over Blueberry’s text over and over, which pointed out that something was amiss at your house. He was just as surprised as his brother to discover that you had a boyfriend; after all, you hadn’t mentioned him and hadn’t even kept your phone on you. No one had pushed you as to why you were at your Grandpa’s lodge in the first place–even though they had each let their imaginations run wild–and you had never volunteered the information.

And that, coupled with the fact that Blueberry could hear you arguing with your boyfriend in another room, set off so many red flags.

Stretch took a shortcut from the woods (where he’d been checking his brother’s puzzles for any sign of him) back to the lodge. His text alert went off, and he briefly glanced down to make sure you had sent him the address. It was too far away for him to take a shortcut directly there, and while he was fully capable of just driving himself over to retrieve his brother.. he wanted a fresh set of eyes on the situation. He didn’t know the human that you were dating–he assumed your boyfriend was human at least because you initially seemed like your experience with monsters was sorely lacking–and from his experience, there were plenty of humans that hated his kind. If this human was already aggressive and pissed off, then he needed some back-up. He needed someone non-threatening to show that they were just your friends, and while his brother may be the picture of non-threatening, he had over-stepped by hiding in your trunk and undoubtedly made things worse for you. 

It was only the fact that you had seemed so calm on the phone that Stretch wasn’t freaking out about his brother’s safety, but he still texted Blueberry back, asking if he was in danger. He received a response quickly that claimed, no, he was fine, but Blue was concerned about you. 

That only increased Stretch’s tension. 

“heya paps. you up for a road-trip?”

Papyrus had been in the kitchen, looking through cabinets and checking the pantry for any sign of Blueberry. Immediately, he gasped and whirled around. “A ROAD TRIP?! STRETCH, WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR SUCH DALLIANCES WHEN YOUR BROTHER IS MISSING!”

“actually, i know where he is. i was hopin’ you’d drive me there.”

“YOU DO?” Papyrus’s expression morphed from surprise to glee. “YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO ASK! OF COURSE THE GREAT PAPYRUS WOULD BE HAPPY TO DRIVE YOU!” He was always up for driving down the open road; he often took joy rides on pretty days just to enjoy the wind whipping through his scarf. "WHERE IS BLUEBERRY?"

"he’s with y/n.”

Papyrus’s eyelights manifested to boggle in opposite directions. "HE’S WHAT??"

"yeah, turns out he hid in her trunk.”

“THAT SNEAKY LITTLE CAD! BECOMING A STOWAWAY IN ORDER TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH Y/N! THAT’S.. THAT’S.. GENIUS!” Papyrus snapped his fingers, lightly frowning. "WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT??“

Stretch couldn’t help but chuckle, shaking his head. "my bro’s always been clever.” Even when it could cause trouble, he thought, but just shrugged it off. "the sooner we leave, the better. i’ve got her address.“

That made things click for Papyrus, and his excitement returned. "WE’RE GOING TO Y/N’S HOUSE? THIS IS THE BEST KIND OF ROAD TRIP! I NEVER EXPECTED US TO BE REUNITED SO SOON!” He grinned, turning from the kitchen. "I’LL GO FETCH MY KEYS SO WE CAN BE OFF! OH, AND I’LL LET SANS KNOW WHERE WE’RE GOING, TOO!“ 

"heh, thanks pap.” 

While Papyrus bounded off, Stretch stepped outside and lit up a cigarette on his way to Papyrus’s convertible. He leaned against the side of it, taking in a long drag to calm his nerves.

“goin’ on an adventure without me?”

A low voice casually came from the backseat of the car, and Stretch choked on the inhaled smoke. He ended up hacking, hitting his sternum, while smoke creeped out his nasal cavity. His head whipped around to glare at Red, who was lounging across the backseat with his arms propped behind his head and one leg crossed over the other at the knee. 

“ _stars_ , red! don’t sneak up on me like that!”

Red smirked. "did i scare ya _outta your skin_?"

Stretch’s lazy grin slowly returned. "obviously.” He took another drag before dropping the cigarette butt to grind it out beneath his sneaker. "were you listening in?“

The smaller skeleton shrugged. "overheard that you’re goin’ to y/n’s house. figured i can’t pass up that opportunity.”

Stretch stuffed his hands into his hoodie pocket, eyeing Red for a moment. It was probably best not to have too many skeletons show up at your door, and Red would be liable to just piss off your boyfriend. If humans were rude, he wasn’t particularly good at minding his mouth. 

However…

There was a tightness in Red’s smirk that betrayed his relaxed demeanor. Stretch inherently excelled at picking up subtle clues in body language, and he could tell that Red was on-edge. So, Stretch decided to probe a little. "yeah, who’d wanna pass that up? …say, did you know she has a boyfriend?“

The smirk faded around the edges as Red’s jaw clenched. He closed his eyesockets, shrugging lightly. "yeah, i might’ve heard that.”

Well, that was news to Stretch. "she told you about him?“

"nope.”

“then how did you know?”

Red didn’t answer right away, but he slowly opened his eyes to meet Stretch’s searching gaze. "i just do, ok?“ Well, he wasn’t going to get a straight answer from Red, so Stretch sighed and was about to tell him to get out of the car and keep an eye on Edge while they were gone.. but then Red admitted, "i REALLY don’t like the guy.”

Welp, that was good enough for Stretch. Red seemed to know something, and from the loathing in his tone (that seemed to be more than just jealousy to him), the boyfriend was likely bad news. Stretch could handle that, sure, but Red had a knack for it. 

Or maybe Stretch just wanted to use the car ride to try to pump Red for more information. 

Either way, he accepted the fact that Red wanted to join them, and Stretch hopped over the passenger-side door to take a seat. Papyrus came excitedly bounding from the house, and when he saw Red in the backseat, he didn’t think anything of it. "DID YOU WANT TO JOIN US AT Y/N’S HOUSE, TOO?“

"yep, sounded like a real party was goin’ on there, and ya'know how i love a good party.” Red grinned.

“THERE’S A PARTY, TOO?? I’M SO JEALOUS OF BLUE RIGHT NOW! WE’VE GOT TO HURRY BEFORE WE MISS IT!” Papyrus cranked the car and began pulling onto the road with more recklessness than anyone else that owned a nice sports car like that would ever utilize. "ALTHOUGH, THAT’S NOT ACTUALLY POSSIBLE BECAUSE PARTIES DON’T START UNTIL THE GREAT PAPYRUS MAKES HIS ENTRANCE! NYEH HEH HEH!“ 

Stretch chuckled, leaning back in his seat and checking his phone again to verify the address. He was still a little tense, but having the two of them with him made him feel much better about the situation.

With Papyrus and Red, he had a Good Cop and a Bad Cop to handle the situation.

And he could be the Judge.


	2. Ch. 6: Puzzling Texts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ask was: "I kinda want to know how the bros knew Reader was drinking. Like does Reader have their own skeleton shadows?"

The fact that Blueberry and Stretch both got to eat lunch with you at your work annoyed Red. He wanted to be the one to bring you a burg and fries. He wanted to talk to you, to see with his own eyesockets that you were doing all right. The day before, Stretch mentioned that you had been avoiding your phone again, which made sense considering all the trash the people that ‘cared’ about you sent you. Red’s curiosity had been sated via snooping, but it just made him all the more pissed off whenever he thought about you staying with that jerkwad you had chosen as a mate. What did you see in a loser that treated you like dirt? Just thinking about it made him want to shortcut into your house and give the bastard the scare of a lifetime. 

He managed to reign in that impulse, however, but just barely. He knew it would make things worse, and he didn’t want to taint his friendship with you, so he settled for texting you selfies instead. From your reactions, you always seemed amused by them, so he kept them coming. 

Just as he was about to send you another one that he was particularly proud of, he got a text alert. 

_*well speak of the angel_

Your name pops up on his screen, but when he opens the text, his bony brows furrow. 

**Y/N:** hey I haborfj drink sd. Kw veannna jpu b ,,

“what the hell?”

He types back a quick response: _“run that by me again sweetheart?”_ Is something wrong? Or did you just accidentally hit some letters while putting your phone away? His entire body feels tense.

The reply is immediate.

**Y/N:** Cinema herw

He’s starting to break into a sweat. He responds with _“hey, you ok? are you at the movies or what?”_ , and just as he turns to ask the others what they make of it, Papyrus starts beaming.

“OH! I GOT A TEXT FROM Y/N! BUT.. IT APPEARS TO BE A PUZZLE OF SOME SORT! SHE MUST BE TRYING OUT HER OWN! WOWIE! I.. I DON’T UNDERSTAND IT.. BUT NO MATTER; THE GREAT PAPYRUS SHALL SOLVE IT!”

Blueberry grasps Papyrus’s arm to get a look at the 'puzzle text.’ "AWW, NO FAIR! I DIDN’T GET ONE FROM Y/N! I WANT A PUZZLE, TOO!“

"shit,” Red mutters, at the same time that Stretch walks back into the room, staring down at his phone with no sign of his usual lazy grin. 

“did you guys get a weird text from y/n?”

Papyrus responds, but Red’s already typing out another text to you: _"sweetheart, your scarin me here"_

Instead of another strange text, however, his phone starts ringing. He breathes out a sigh of relief, and all eyelights focus on him. "sweetheart, what’s going on?“ he answers. The line’s loud on the other end; there’s a cacophony of voices as a blanket of white noise that has dread pitting in his SOUL all over again. "sweetheart?” he prompts, unable to conceal the tinge of panic that makes his voice come out urgent. 

“Ohhhh, heyyy Red!” your voice comes across finally, followed by a giggle. "I like your voice.. It’s all rough and stuff."

He should be relieved--he should make a suggestive joke about how if you like rough, he’ll give you rough--but you don’t sound like yourself. "are.. are ya drunk?”

The other skeletons are all staring with super wide eyesockets now. "is she?“ Stretch prompts. Red waves him off impatiently, turning to focus on you. You’re laughing on the other end.

"I miiiiight be. I dunnooo. I drank a lot. It’s just been one of those shit days.” Your reply comes in a sing-song voice that makes him sigh. Yep, you’re drunk all right. 

“are you alone?”

“Yeeppp! There’s a ton of people around me, but I’m by myself. That’s why I was textin’ you guys.”

He doesn’t know whether to be relieved or even more pissed off that your boyfriend isn’t there with you. Did he leave you there, or did you decide to come on your own? "where are ya?“

"A bar.”

“yeah, but which bar?”

“Mmmm… I don’t remember which.”

Red slaps his palm against his face and drags it down, scraping bone against bone in exasperation. His voice comes out strained, “sweetheart, i need ya to think hard and tell me where you are.”

“Do you wanna come drink with me, Red?”

“yeah. yeah, i wanna help you forget your shit day, so lemme join ya, sweetheart.”

“I’d like that.. but.. I dunno the name. Mmm… It was close to my house. I stopped at the first one I saw!”

“stay there, ok? don’t move, and i’ll come drink with ya.”

“Promiiiiise?”

“yeah, 'course. i’ll be there in a flash.”

“'kay. Thanks Red. You’re the sweetheart,” you reply with a giggle before the line goes dead. Red lets out a heavy sigh, rubbing his hand over his face. He’s sweating and he didn’t even realize it.

“WELL? IS Y/N ALL RIGHT?” Blueberry asks, looking as if he’s about to rush to her rescue himself. 

“yeah, she’s fine. stretch, ya wanna come with? we need to do some searchin’.”

Stretch nods. "ok. sans just texted me, so i guess she texted him too. i’ll let him know what’s going on.“ The orange-clad skeleton is texting away as he steps outside. Papyrus and Blueberry try to follow, but Red blocks the way.

"look, we can’t go bringing that much attention to ourselves, so wait here.”

“BUT–” both of the louder skeletons protest in unison.

“we might need back-up or somethin’, so you guys are on stand-by. stay here in case anything happens. capiche?”

Blueberry looks like he’s going to protest, but Papyrus plants a gloved hand on his shoulder. "YES, WE UNDERSTAND. WE’LL STAY HERE AND TRY TO DECIPHER THE PUZZLE TEXT!“

Well, at least Papyrus knew that it would be bad news for all of them to be there if there was some kind of trouble going on with the boyfriend. He and Stretch could do some recon of the situation first–and with their shortcuts, they would be able to cover more ground and figure out which bar it was together. 

As Red steps outside, he finds Stretch staring at his phone and smoking. 

"ready? she said it was one close to her house,” Red points out, and Stretch pulls up a map to start looking for bars close by. 

The first bar was a bust, and at the second, well.. it didn’t have you, either. 

_*third time’s the charm._


	3. Ch. 6: The Blanks in Your Memory (skeles in the bar)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ask was: "Will we ever get a short story in SSLL about detailed events that unraveled when the reader was drunk(from one of the skeletons point of view)?"

It’s in the third bar he searches that Red finds you.

You’re sitting at the bar, your phone in one hand, talking to someone. Immediately, his expression darkens; he doesn’t like the look on your face–scrunched up, angry but holding back tears. He comes up to you, but he can’t hear what you’re saying; the music is too loud. 

“sweetheart?” he prompts, touching your back. You jerk, but spin around on the barstool with a bright smile, steadying yourself with a hand to his chest. 

“Red! Red, you’re here!” You’re grinning deliriously, your eyes appearing glazed. Without even hanging up the phone you tap Red on the sternum with the edge of it, and he reaches up to easily slide it out of your grip. "H-how’d you find me?“

“there aren’t that many bars near your house, darlin’,” he says, speaking louder than usual in an effort to be heard over the music. He can hear something coming from the phone, so he raises it to hold it to the side of his skull.

“ _You slut! How dare you think that you can just go off and drink with those monsters behind my back! You’d better get home right now, or we’re done!_ ”

“you’re a real charmer, ain’t ya?” Red growls into the phone, and your boyfriend stammers in surprise. 

“ _Y-you again?! I don’t want you or your undead family around her! Which bar are you at? I’m going to bring her home myself._ ”

“ya'see, that’s where you’re wrong. i may be a skeleton, but.. i know i have more _guts_ than a coward like you.”

The song changes in the middle of his conversation, and you lurch up from the barstool, gripping Red’s arm. "Red, Reeeddd, I wanna danceee!“ you whine, and Red cuts off the call in the middle of your boyfriend yelling empty threats. He pockets your phone and grips your forearms. You’re unsteady on your feet, and obviously quite drunk if you didn’t notice him talking to your boyfriend on the phone. 

"sweetheart, maybe ya should get some water instead.”

“Don’t be a buzz kill, Red! I thought you were a fun guy.” You grin, tugging on his arm and leading him toward the dance floor. There’s a giggle in your voice that isn’t usually present.

Red smirks. "‘course i’m fun. 'lright, lemme text stretch.“ He pulls out his own phone while he lets you tug him further into the writhing, drunken bodies, and sends a text with the bar’s name to Stretch. Then, he turns his attention to you as you start dancing. You’re completely off-beat and your moves mostly involve swaying and flailing your arms above your head, and every now and then, you take a step that almost has you toppling backward. Red ends up putting his hands lightly on your waist, trying to keep you steady. He’s enough of a decent person not to take advantage--whoops, scratch that, it lasted all of two seconds before he "accidentally” grips your ass. 

His crimson eyelights are locked on your eyes, which seem glazed over. You stumble and clutch the front of his fur-lined jacket. “Ohhh, it’s sooo soft,” you murmur, the words slurring together as you lean forward and rub your face against the fur. 

“sweetheart,” he says, and there’s a plea in his voice. He knows he should tell you to stop it, but he can’t bring himself to utter the words. Instead, he just holds you steady, until someone else suddenly pops up beside you both.

“the hell are you doing, red?” Stretch is glowering in disapproval–you’re still rubbing your cheek against the fur and smiling deliriously–and Red shakes his head. 

“hey, don’t look at me. i ain’t makin’ her do any of this,” Red insists, and you lift your head to look over at the orange blur. 

“Heeeyy, it’s Stretch!” With one hand still on Red’s jacket, you reach out and touch Stretch’s hoodie. “Your hoodie isn’t as soft, but it’s still nice.”

“wow, you’re drunk.”

“told ya,” Red mutters.

“Mmm, Stretch..! Thank you for bringin’ me food! Even though.. even though…” You trail off, your gaze beginning to water. Your vision blurs even more, and you reach over to grab onto Stretch’s hoodie with both hands. He grasps your elbows in surprise to steady you, while Red keeps a hand on your back. “Even though.. I got su-suspended from work today, and my parents won’t..won’t stay outta my life, and.. that _asshole_ won’t just leave me alone.”

Oh great. The floodgates have opened, and you start crying. Even though you’re drunk, you still feel a flush of mortification, and you bury your face in Stretch’s chest to hide it, weeping onto his hoodie. Stretch and Red both exchange a glance, before Stretch leads you off the dance floor, to a more secluded portion of the bar. Two monsters being seen with a crying, drunk girl probably isn’t in their best interest. 

“slow down, honey. what happened?”

“explains why she’s wasted,” Red mutters, and you feel his hand rubbing your back again while Stretch keeps holding you up. Your arms go around his waist–you really just need a hug right now; you need someone to tell you that everything will be all right despite the fact that your world is crashing around you.

“It’s stupid, it’s nothing, but it’s.. it’s so hard. I don’t know how much longer I can deal. I.. I’ve been sleeping in the guestroom, and everything I do is the wrong thing, even.. even though, hanging out with y-you guys… it’s the happiest I’ve been in so long..” You’re sobbing now, your entire body shaking. “So, please… please don’t leave.. please? I k-know I’m a mess right now, and I’m sorry. I’ll.. I’ll be stronger tomorrow, oka-ay? Just.. don’t leave.” Your voice is wavering, and you can’t help pleading your insecurities; the filter between your brain and mouth has been obliterated by some good ol’ Jameson.

“no one’s goin’ anywhere, sweetheart,” Red’s mouth is close to your ear, his breath stirring your hair. “so don’t ya worry about that, ok?”

“yeah, it’s going to be all right,” Stretch murmurs, his arms moving to encircle you, which makes you relax. You really needed that hug. You hear them mumble something, and you catch Sans’s name, but you’re too busy crying to really process the information. 

“where’s the boyfriend?” Stretch asks Red.

“dunno.”

“We got in a… a fight. Well, we’ve been in a fight ever since I came back.. We’re always fightin’… He doesn’t like..” You trail off; you don’t want to admit that they’re the cause of the fight, even as wasted as you are. “He said he was g-going to a bar to score some numbers, so I.. I wanted to drink. It’s been a lonnnngg week.”

“drinkin’ when you’re sad ain’t the way to go, sweetheart.”

“I just.. just wanted a vacation… I’m s-sorryy…” You voice breaks again, and you feel the bar begin to spin. You’re getting tired, and the lights are starting to blur together. You push away from Stretch and attempt to sit on a barstool, but really, you just want to lie down. Just as your knees start to buckle and your hand slips from the stool’s padding, you feel another set of arms take hold of you. One arm goes around your shoulders, while the other hooks beneath your knees, and you’re hefted up bridal-style against someone’s chest.

They’re surprisingly strong, and you allow your heavy head to loll against their shoulder. You feel a warm breath at your ear, this one smelling strongly of ketchup–which makes your weakened stomach churn. 

“let’s go home, kiddo,” Sans murmurs, having arrived on the scene after receiving a text from Stretch with the address. 

You grip onto his jacket like a lifeline, and the desperate syllable cracks on its way out, “ _Please._ ”

When he carries you outside, you’re already out of it, but Edge is standing there beside his sleek convertible. His arms are crossed, and he’s wearing a deep scowl. Despite his irritation, worry enters his gaze when it lands on your form cradled in Sans’s arms. “WELL? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HER?”

“rough week. suspended from work, problems with the parents, and it sounds like the douchebag boyfriend is making her life hell.”

“…….SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND?!”

Edge’s jaw is agape, and Red shrugs, sliding in the passenger seat as Sans climbs into the back with you and Stretch. “c’mon boss. i’ll fill ya in one the way home.”


	4. Ch. 11: Axe Body Spray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Horrortale!Sans's nickname is Axe, but... what if he smelled like the body spray?  
> ( _not canon... or is it?_ )

He leaned in, inhaling deeply as he sniffed you. You bristled from the invasion, reaching out to shove him away, but it was as if you were pushing against a wall; he refused to budge. His nasal ridge buried itself into your hair, a furious grunt issuing from within his chest at the revelation.

“you smell like all of them,” he practically growled.

You started to gag, trying to hold your breath. He was too close! You could smell the Axe Bodyspray all over him, as if he had soaked his clothing in an entire bottle. It was permiating from his bones–it was even on his breath!

What other scent did he need to cover up to wear that much Axe?!

“…Can’t…breathe…”

He didn’t listen. Instead, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you against his body. You struggled as realization dawned.

He was marking you with his scent.

“Noooo! Stop! A-anything… anything but the Axe!”

It was too late.

This was your scent now.


	5. Ch 11: Axe Me Anything (HT!Sans's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ask was "could I request some of Axe's PoV? like the couch bit or the texting between them?"

“SANS! ONE OF YOUR HUMANS WAS LOST IN THE WOODS! DON’T WORRY! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE BROUGHT THEM HOME SAFELY!”

Sans sat up on his bed, feeling slightly irritated at being woken up–not that he would ever let that irritation manifest toward his younger brother, of course. His good eyesocket narrowed at the mention of one of his humans being lost in the woods. Papyrus was more perceptive than Sans gave him credit; whenever he brought humans into this neck of the woods, he usually tried to do so while his brother was out hunting or recalibrating his traps. He knew that his brother’s lumbering visage was enough nightmare fuel to frighten the humans, and he also knew that the moment they showed fear or made some offensive remark, well… Sans would be liable to kill them. 

And while their moronic “keepers” wouldn’t bat an eye, Sans knew the other six would make a big deal out of it.

_*like none of them have ever killed a human before. ha._

Still, it had been quite a while since Sans had cared enough to bring a human home. It was too much of a hassle, which often negated the obvious stress relief he was beseeching. So, the skeleton decided to investigate and padded through the house just in time to spot a human female crawling along the living room floor toward the door.

His expression darkened.

_*fear. she’s afraid of paps._

_*she’s obviously hurt. can’t be because of him._

_*…one of the traps, maybe?_

_*or maybe… she just saw him as a monster and tried to run. could see her as the idiotic type to trip and turn her ankle._

He stopped directly in front of her, effectively blocking her progress. She instantly froze, staring at his dirty slippers.

“where do you think you’re going?”

She skittered backwards, and his dilated crimson eyelight rolled across her body. Strangely enough, she was wearing pajamas–and a certain black jacket he’d recognize anywhere. His smile tightened; that explained what she was doing out here in the middle of the night. 

“S-sans.” 

Well, she got his name right, even if she’s thinking of him as his mirror–the version of him that wouldn’t know true suffering if it bit him on his bony ass. He reached toward the girl, and although she recoiled away, it was easy enough to snag that fur-lined hood and jerk her to her feet. She sucked in a breath, trying to shift her weight to her good foot, but Sans didn’t care about her comfort. Not when she belonged to them.

“well, well. i should’ve known that group wasn’t as goody-two-shoes as they seemed. never expected them to pick up a human pet, though.” His eyelight looked her up and down appraisingly. He could see the appeal; she was attractive enough, but it was difficult to look past the fear filling her gaze and the stench of the others at the moment. Before she could speak, he slung her toward the couch, drawing satisfaction from the way she hissed over her ankle. 

Served her right for looking at him like that–and for being so afraid of Paps. 

“PET?” Speak of the devil; his brother crossed the living room to stare down at the human, frowning in confusion. "YOU MEAN SHE BELONGS TO THE OTHERS?“

“I’m not–”

Sans cut her off. "she’s wearing the pervert’s jacket. surprised he parted with it, though. he seems like the type to collar his pets… or maybe that was his brother’s thing.“ He shrugged, unconcerned. He was used to edgelords at this point, and he admittedly liked the red-eyed version of himself more than his mirror. At least that version of him had guts–had LOVE.  


…Not that his mirror didn’t. He just liked to pretend he was innocent.

His irritation was beginning to spike at the thought of seeing him again. "that just means the others are going to come poking their skulls where they aren’t welcome.”

“SANS!” Papyrus turned toward him, his tone reprimanding. “THAT’S NO ATTITUDE TO HAVE! IF WE’RE GOING TO HAVE GUESTS, I SHOULD GO PREPARE A MEAL! IT WOULD BE RUDE NOT TO OFFER THEM SOMETHING TO EAT!”

And give those assholes some of their food–their rations? Sans wasn’t the sharing type to begin with when it came to their household, and the idea of the others eating their food made his smile even tighter–wider, more manic. 

_*i’d sooner feed them my axe._

“or i could just go dump her back in the woods.”

The girl frantically nodded. “Actually, that would be fantastic–”

“NONSENSE! WE HAVEN’T HAD GUESTS IN AGES! WELL, OTHER THAN THE USUAL ONES! THIS IS A CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION!” Papyrus wouldn’t listen to reason and bounded off toward the kitchen, leaving Sans alone again with the girl. Instantly, his smile fell, his eyesocket narrowing. 

_*this is fantastic. gotta deal with those bastards, feed them our food, and end up accused of hurting their woman._

_*‘course when anything goes wrong, they start pointing fingers our way._

He stalked toward the girl and reached toward her, only for her to actually have the gall to swat his hand away. His frown deepened, though a bone brow raised in surprise.

_*so she does have a little fight in her. here i thought she was just a scared little lamb._

“Okay, you need to tell me what’s going on. I’m not anyone’s pet, and I don’t know who you are… but you know the other skeletons? Are you guys relatives, too?” Despite the brave face she plastered on, the girl can’t stop trembling and her breathing came out in short gasps that made her chest heave. 

He almost smiles again. _Almost._ "relatives? that’s a good one, kid. but you can’t fool me. if you’re not a pet, what are you? their whore?“ He leaned in closer, inhaling deeply. He could smell them all over her–especially Red, though that was likely from his coat, and Papyrus. There was no hint of their magic on (or within) her, though, but he didn’t get a chance to properly sift through their scents before she slammed her palm against his sternum. Caught by surprise, he plopped down onto the opposite couch cushion and stared at her. 

_*terrified, yet determined to fight against me, huh…?_

She looked utterly indignant at the implications. "What?! No, I’m not–”

Abruptly, he snatched her wrist and jerked her toward him. Her fingers splayed across his chest to avoid smashing her face against it, and he gripped her chin, forcing her face upward.  
“you smell like all of them. it’s all over you,” he admitted, his voice a near growl. The scent it a constant reminder of their existence, and he doesn’t want it in his house. His grip tightens, and she winced. Good. "…it’s annoying.“

“That’s because we live together. And we were just camping together.” She yanked her face from his grip, but he holds fast to her wrist, preventing her from pulling away. 

_*living together…?_

“you’re living in the lodge?”

“I own the lodge,” she insisted, causing his eyesockets to widen in surprise. He hadn’t expected that; his mirror had told them the lodge was abandoned. Hell, that likely meant she owned the property his shack had been built on, but he wasn’t about to bring that up. It was his–and Papyrus’s–and he’d kill her if she tried to claim it. He tried to ask where she’d been this entire time if she supposedly owned it, but she cut him off with a shake of her head. "I’m not playing twenty questions with you anymore until you start answering mine.“

He chuckled darkly, his smile tightening. “fair enough. what’d you ask again? i forgot.”

_*my memory isn’t that bad, but nothing like some self-depreciating humor._

“Who _are_ you?” Her voice comes out exasperated.

“that one’s easy.” His free hand reached into his pocket, fingers curling around a buzzer he’s been carrying around since the Underground. The whoopee cushion in the hand trick was child’s play compared to this one. He extended his hand toward her, his smile wide. “name’s sans. sans the skeleton.” 

_*the moment she grips my hand, the blade’ll tear into her palm. i wonder what her screams will sound like._

_*the others will be pissed, but it serves her right for bringing that stench in my house._

She doesn’t grip his hand, however. Instead, she stared at him like she had seen a ghost, the blood draining from her face. “…What do you mean you’re Sans?”

_*is she an idiot?_

He chuckled humorlessly, shrugging. "i’d say the one and only, but ya'know. that’s hardly the case.“

Her breathing is labored again, like she’s on the cusp of a panic attack.

"what? my pansy mirror didn’t tell you? lemme guess… they only told you their stupid nicknames? hate to break it to ya, kiddo, but their names aren’t red and blue and edgelord.” 

She swallowed hard, and he watched her throat work around the lump that had undoubtedly settled there. "Blueberry called Stretch Papy,“ she murmured beneath her breath.

"his name ain’t blueberry. it’s sans. they’re not a family–well, some of them are.” He shrugged. “they’re alternate versions of themselves.” 

He knew that she believed him; that much was obvious from the way she stared at him, searching his features for the mirror version of him that she knew. Her gaze trailed over the obvious jagged crack on the top of his skull, his darkened socket, the dilated eyelight and general unkempt appearance. He was about to mock her for not seeing it sooner, for thinking that all the skeleton monsters looked the same and had ridiculous names, but she surprised him by reaching out and cupping his cheekbone. 

“What happened to you?” She whispered the words, her voice thick and shaky. Her fingers skirted upward, close to the crack atop his head–the part of him that separated him from his mirror forever–and he couldn’t do more than just stare at her in wonderment. The buzzer slipped from his suddenly lax fingers, hitting the carpet.

His cheeks grew hot. How long had it been since someone (other than Papyrus) showed him this kind of kindness? How long had it been since someone looked at him like that–feeling his pain, having such concern over his well-being?

_*what happened? hell if i know, kid. my memory isn’t what it used to be._

_*heh, you could even say it’s **full of holes**._

He shrugged. "who knows?“

_*paps, probably, but who’m i to pry?_

_*not like i don’t have my share of secrets._

Slowly, her hand dropped from his face. "What… what happened to Papyrus?”

_*what happened to paps?_

_*undick happened. the crazy bitch took her failures out on my bro. made him captain of the royal guard, beat his face in when he didn’t want to fight against her and hurt her because she was his best friend._

_*i’ll forget a lot of things, but i’ll never forget what she did._

In the next moment, he shoved her across the couch, severing all physical contact. "our timeline isn’t as easy to stomach as the others, kid.“

She sat up, treading carefully and changing the subject. "All right. If there’s other timelines… it’s like… other realities, right? So, how did everyone end up in the same reality?”

He shrugged and reached up to grip the outer rim of his unlit eyesocket and sharply tug. It always felt so uncomfortable and slightly painful, but that pain always helped ground him from getting lost in the past and his fragmented memories. She stared at him as if he were insane, and his grin turned wide. Of course he knew what happened to get everyone together; all of the skeletons had a version of that machine in their timelines, and he was no exception. 

Long ago, he knew he had been a scientist; that basement was all the proof he needed. But, he couldn’t for the life of him remember it. The machine was just a hunk of scrap metal with indecipherable blueprints and notes. “you should ask the comedian. he’s the one that knows that science bullshit and likes messing around with things he doesn’t understand.”

And then, it seemed that talking about him was enough to summon him. His mirror appeared, looking frantic until he spotted the human, and that relief was enough to piss Sans off. He watched as his mirror made certain she was all right, before he turned his attention to Sans. The air became electric, although Sans knew it was all a bluff. Even if his mirror had more magic reserves than him (after the head injury, he could only teleport short distances and summoning a Gaster Blaster was out of the question. It was annoying, but at least he was able to rely on his brute strength and bone-axe), he knew that the blue-clad skeleton wouldn’t pick a fight with him while Paps was in the house. 

His mirror could barely even look at Paps. 

_*what’s wrong? you don’t like knowing in some reality, you failed him?_

_*how do you think i feel, bastard?_

_*…. like you’re one to judge. you’ve failed your pap plenty, or else your LOVE wouldn’t be so high._

Just as his mirror didn’t like looking at Paps, Sans didn’t like looking at his mirror. It reminded him of who he used to be… in another life, before everything went to hell. This was a version of him that succeeded–or one where the human RESET at least. The barrier was broken, monsters gained their freedom, and no one had to watch their loved ones starve. 

Sans would… like to meet the Frisk of this timeline. He has a few choice words for his old pal, but he knows that his mirror tries to keep his old friends at bay. 

Hell, even if he saw the Undyne of this timeline, Sans would probably impale her on the spot.

_*you’re not innocent if you have the capacity for that kind of evil lurking just under the surface._

_*and that human ambassador isn’t innocent, either._

His mirror agrees to eat the spaghetti, bringing Sans back to reality. 

“I… can’t really walk,” the human girl admitted, favoring her ankle as she tried to stand. His mirror moved to pick her up, but suddenly, Sans doesn’t want him touching her. He moved quickly and snatched her off the couch, gathering her into his arms. Turning away from his mirror, he crossed the living room. 

**“axe, don’t touch her.”**

_*it’s the deep, spooky voice._

_*heh, i bet his eyesockets are dark._

_*hate to break it to ya, pal, but one of mine always is. i’ve got you beat when it comes to the scary stare._

Sans scoffed, but didn’t turn around. “human, can i carry you to the kitchen?” He asked the question like the answer was obvious.

“I don’t mind,” she answered, all of her previous fear gone, which caused his smile to turn a little more genuine–and absolutely victorious. 

“see, she’s fine. c'mon, kiddo, hope you’re a _humanitarian._ ”

He’s joking of course; the brothers haven’t had the need to eat humans since coming to this timeline, and yet the others always act as if they eat them just for fun now. It’s ridiculous, but Sans enjoys joking about their past food preferences to make the others uncomfortable. 

Speaking of uncomfortable, it’s also enjoyable for Sans to touch the human while his mirror–and later, Red–irritably shift. It’s obvious they both think they have some kind of claim on her.

And once he finds out that she’s not dating any of the skeletons in the lodge, well… things become interesting. 

He’ll have to get her number from Paps and keep in touch.


	6. Prequel Bonus: Condiment Exchange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ask was: "So you know how UT Sans likes ketchup, UF Sans likes mustard, US Papyrus likes honey, and... does SF Papyrus have one? Anyway, can we see each of these skellies reactions to trying the others' favorite beverage/condiment/whatever?"

The four skeletons were seated at the bar in Grillby’s, each ordering their respective condiment–along with a shot of their preferred monster alcohol to spike it with. 

“ketchup? that’s gross,” Red mutters, leaning away from Sans as the flamesman slides the red bottle before the skeleton. 

“sounds like you haven’t _mustard_ the courage to try it,” Sans replies with a chuckle, holding the bottle out to the edgier version of himself. Red stares at it for a second, before Stretch shrugs and reaches across Red to take the bottle himself.

“i’ll give it a go if you’d rather have a _sweet-tooth_.” Stretch holds out his bottle of honey with his other hand and pokes Red in his golden tooth with the nozzle. Red hurriedly snatches it out of Stretch’s hand. 

“what? we all swappin’ now or somethin’. fine, i’ll try this trash. you in on this or what mutt?” He leans across Sans to see Mutt shrug and slide his bottle of BBQ sauce toward Sans.

“sure, lemme try the mustard.”

Red slides the yellow bottle to Mutt, while Sans examines the barbecue sauce. "welp, i’m feelin’ _saucy_. bottoms up."

With that, he takes a large gulp. 

“wait, lemme _ketchup_ ,” Stretch quips, before he and the others follow suit. 

“.........”

Red shrugs. "eh, honey’s not bad.“

Mutt grimaces. "i’ve had worse.”

Sans coughs, but manages. "woah, that _spiced_ up my life a little too much.“

And Stretch straight-up gags and covers his mouth. "red was right. that was terrible.”

All the skeletons look to one another again, and then shrug. It’s time for musical condiments. 

Stretch tastes the mustard now, and this time, he actually spits it out in a napkin. "that was even worse!“

Red tries the barbecue sauce and shrugs. "not as good as mustard, but not bad. it goes with the honey.”

Mutt sips the ketchup, but still doesn’t look pleased.. "better than the mustard.“

Sans gulps some honey and looks relieved. "you can _bee_ -lieve this is better than the bbq sauce.”

Musical condiments again!

Stretch gets the barbecue sauce this time. It’s sweeter than the other sauces, but he still scrapes his tongue off with a napkin. "i don’t understand how you guys drink any of these.“

Red stares hard at the ketchup, before he finally sighs and takes a sip. He chokes it down, but shudders. "yeah, as disgustin’ as i thought. s'all yours, sansy.”

Mutt squirts some honey in his mouth and shrugs. "a lil’ too sweet for me.“

And Sans tastes the mustard. It’s not his first time trying it–he’s had mustard as a condiment option in his ‘dog stand forever, and he’s gotten curious. He locks eyes with Red and squirts another large gulp into his mouth and swallows. 

"ya gonna _ketchup_ to my level or what?”

Red glares and takes the ketchup bottle back. As much as he hates it, he’s not going to let his blue copy show him up, so he starts chugging the ketchup. Stretch and Mutt look on, surprised, and lowkey switch their honey and BBQ sauce behind the backs of the other two so they can drink in peace.

Red ends up feeling sick halfway through, but he finishes the entire bottle. "ha!“

… Too bad Sans had finished the mustard way ahead of him.

The two switch to shots next, and Stretch and Mutt jump into that contest. 

When they all get back to the lodge, it’s not a good night for their brothers. Or a pleasant morning for any of them.


	7. Ch12.5: Swimsuit Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The skeletons pick out swimsuits for the Lady. This was a little drabble before the poll that ran in that chapter, but I figured I might as well stick it here.

“I’VE FOUND THE PERFECT SWIMSUIT FOR Y/N!”

“pfft, you’re never gonna win with that one, pap. mine’s the real winner.” Red smirks, while Papyrus proceeds to whirl around and face the unfortunate salesclerk. 

“IF YOU WERE A YOUNG WOMAN THAT ENJOYS PUZZLES AND SPAGHETTI–”

“YOU MEAN TACOS!”

“WRONG! IT’S MY LASAGNA!”

“–WOULD YOU WANT TO WEAR THIS SWIMSUIT?”

“Uh… sure?” The salesclerk is hesitant, their expression reflecting the fact that they don’t get paid enough to handle this level of tomfoolery. All of the monsters are drawing stares because they’re a rather boisterous bunch, and Stretch keeps holding up bikinis against his hoodie and asking Blueberry what he thinks whenever he catches someone blatantly staring. 

“STOP THAT, PAPY! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY!”

“i am, i am,” he remarks with a shrug, rolling a sucker between his teeth. "i just like seeing the looks on their faces when they start to imagine me wearing it.“

Blueberry’s smiling despite his scolding tone. "THE ONLY PERSON WEARING ONE OF THESE WILL BE Y/N! AND IT’LL BE MY CHOICE SHE LIKES THE BEST! I’M DEFINITELY GOING TO WIN!” He, too, defaults to the salesclerk’s judgement, holding his choice in their face. "RIGHT??“ He leans in, rocking onto the balls of his feet, stars shining in his eyesockets.

”…Yep.“

Papyrus’s eyelights expand to boggle in opposite directions and he grips the sides of his skull. "I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS BETRAYAL IS HAPPENING RIGHT IN MY FACE! SALESCLERK, HOW COULD YOU LIE TO ME??”

“Uh… Listen… are you guys going to buy these, or…?”

Edge stomps over and slams his choice onto the counter. He leans in, using his height as intimidation, and glowers at the poor clerk. "….THIS IS CLEARLY THE BEST CHOICE BY ALL CONCEIVABLE NOTIONS, IS IT NOT?“

"y'know, sans had the right idea…” Red murmurs to Stretch as the two watch the other three make the salesclerk miserable. 

“yeah, we shoulda just shopped online, too. but then we’d miss out on all this fun.”

“yep, and that’d be a shame.”

Both skeletons smirk, and Stretch waves to a human that’s blatantly staring at them when he walks by, while Red pretends to lick the neck of a mannequin. They hear a muffled sound of disgust, and the bystander hurries away, causing both of them to chuckle.


	8. Ch 13: Red-hot in the hot tub

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ask was "Do you think we can get uf sans' pov when he and lady were in the hot tub?"

It figures that you’d leave your phone in the hotel room, Red muses as he drums his fingers along the edge of the hot tub, glaring daggers at his unresponsive phone. He had decided to continue his hot tub selfie tradition by sending you another, this one with the caption “i’m waitin on the roof sweetheart.” After several minutes pass, he decides to send a text to Stretch.

_is y/n still with u?_

Of course, the response is immediate. 

**ashtray:** “yep”

Irritation flashes through him, causing Red to grit his teeth. Admittedly, he’s been in a rather bad mood ever since he saw that swimsuit on you. The fact that you chose something Stretch picked out wasn’t what bothered him; it was the fact that you matched Stretch, that he got to rub your skin so intimately, that he had earned a private moment on the beach where the others weren’t allowed to spy. 

Red had eaten with Sans, but he hadn’t been good company. He had just guzzled mustard and scarfed down a burger, ignoring his counterparts attempts at jokes to lighten his grisly mood. When enough time had passed, he simply teleported to the roof, comforting himself with the knowledge that you had promised to set some time aside for him. 

Besides, it wasn’t like Stretch was the type to make a move that soon, right? Even if you were now watching the sunset with the ashtray… on the beach… completely alone… in a rather romantic setting… wearing matching skull print swimsuits that practically announce to the world that you’re a couple…

Scowling, Red angrily types out a reply: _“tell her i’m waiting on the roof.”_

And then he plays the waiting game, while trying to relax in the meantime. He shouldn’t be wound this tight–especially over a human girl he hasn’t known all that long. 

But he also hasn’t been able to forget the feeling of your lips against his cheekbone when you leaned in to thank him. If Blueberry hadn’t butted in…

Those thoughts are pushed aside as you meander onto the rooftop, your expression lighting up when it lands on him. Grinning wide, Red waves you over, the tightness in his chest uncoiling. As you approach, he slides over, patting the water beside him with a sharp splash. 

“heya doll. i saved ya a seat.”

“Guess you did tell me you had room for two.”

When did–oh, that’s right! The first selfie in the hot tub. He had sent that shamelessly, not caring that you had a boyfriend after he had experienced just how big of a douchebag he was. Red knew you were going through a tough time, and as flirtatious as his selfie was, the real point of the picture was to make you smile–to take your mind off things. That’s all the others wanted for you, too. They didn’t have many human friends–or friends in general, since Sans was trying to keep the whole “i ripped apart the multi-verse and now there’s multiples of me and my brother” on the down-low. So, it had been nice to entertain a friendship that wasn’t involved in that mess.

“heh, you ‘member that, huh? why not take a load off?” To his relief, you take him up on that offer, sliding into the water beside him. He’s unable to keep his eyelights off you, roaming the skin that the suit reveals before its obscured by the water. Red’s never been a self-conscious guy, but there’s a part of him that’s glad for the dim lighting on the roof and the poor quality of his cell phone’s camera. His ribs are littered with nicks, cracks, and calcifications from the fights he had been in throughout the years. His brother’s bones were in even worse shape. 

Leaning back, Red decides to enjoy the moment. Even if he didn’t win the bet, so one of the others could easily crash their little party, he didn’t care. He’s content being next to you, his arms spread out… his humerus so close that he can feel your body heat against it. 

Or is that just him being hyper-aware of that fraction of an inch of space between the two of you?

Speaking of which… there isn’t much space between any portion of your bodies, he realizes. Smirk widening, Red stretches out his legs, shifting so that his knee skims against the side of your thigh. His focus is on your face, but he can’t tell if your cheeks are just that darkened because of the water’s temperature or from the physical contact.   
Stars, how he hopes it’s the latter.

“Can you even feel the heat without nerves?” you blurt.

_*sweetheart, ya gotta lot of **nerve** bringing this kinda **heat** in here._

_*i don’t need skin to tell it’s gettin’ **hot** in here._

_*…nah, i better not say that._

“sure. somewhat. heat and cold don’t really bother skeletons, but this does feel nice.” He shrugs, and the motion brings his arm down lower–this, of course, being a calculated move. 

_*i wasn’t lyin’. this does feel nice–just bein’ like this._

You don’t move away from his arm or his leg. You don’t move to break the contact. It only emboldens Red, who really wants to touch more of your skin. If he had it his way, you wouldn’t be sitting beside him. No, you’d be on his lap, arms wound around his neck. 

“Y-yeah, it does feel good. I always loved hot tubs.” 

_*was that… a reaction?_

More perceptive than he appears, Red caught the nervous hitch to your voice. "ya don’t say?“ 

“Mmhmm.” Red notices your gaze drop, focusing on his collar. You swallow hard, and it only makes his smirk widen. "Are you having fun so far, Red?“ 

“more than you know,” he chuckles, deciding to experiment. His fingertips brush lightly over the side of your arm, and you actually lean closer to him, without pulling away. He breathes a sigh of relief. “i’m glad the hot tub’s on the roof. i wanted to show ya the view.” 

You seem distracted. “The view? But we can’t see the beach from here.”

“not the ocean. the stars.” 

He nods his head toward the sky, and the furrow from your brow relaxes as you turn your face skyward and take in the view. The stars have always been his favorite thing–something that kept him going in the Underground, a promise he had made long ago. The first thing he had done (after the initial freak out and fight he and his brother picked with the others that may have escalated) was stand outside and look up at the stars. He had felt so small then, but… sitting here, looking at them with you, he doesn’t feel that way. 

His chest feels warm, the tight feeling coming again. His fingers gently press on your upper arm, and you respond immediately, without even tearing your gaze from the sky. You lean your shoulder into his, letting him draw his arm around you, where he could leisurely explore the skin along your shoulder and upper arm. He hasn’t been paying attention to the stars in the slightest. Instead, his head is slowly lolling to the side, tilting closer to yours.

“Thank you.”

Red jerks, his head snapping back up. He was so lost in his daydream that t takes him a moment to process the words. "for what?“

"This. For showing me this. And… for all the other stuff, too, you know.”

Red assumes the other stuff means lending you his jacket and carrying you back to the lodge. Honestly, he liked the way you looked in his jacket; he liked the idea of you wearing something that belongs to him. It’s a possessive thought, akin to claiming you, but it sends his instincts into overdrive. 

Your gratitude also brings his thoughts full-circle to what happened last week on the racecar bed… Smirking, he leans in. "does this mean i get another kiss?“

You’re so close that it would be so easy for him to just lean in and close the gap between your lips and his teeth. His eyelights drop to your lips, and he finds himself gravitating toward them, his sharpened teeth just barely parting in anticipation.

And then you shove him away, but at least you’re laughing. He also notes that your cheeks are definitely darker. "Nope, one time deal.”

_*that can’t be true, sweetheart._

Instead of voicing that thought, he says, “now that’s just cruel, sweetheart.”

“Never said I wasn’t cruel.” Your tone is teasing as you move from beneath his arm to get out of the hot tub. Red’s transfixed by the way the water glistens on your skin–as well as how your rear was practically in his face when you turned to step out. "C'mon, that’s enough star-gazing for one night. You’ll pass out.“

He smirks, slowly moving to follow. "it isn’t possible for me to over-heat, doll, but i appreciate your concern." 

_*but if ya had stayed in the hot tub even a minute longer, i might’ve._


	9. Ch 13/14: ON-EDGE (Edge's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got three asks for Edge's POV when he was standing there in the hotel room/when he was in bed with the Lady, so here you go~!

"Sure, okay. Whatever. As long as I get to sleep, that's fine."

Edge froze, his face flushing hot with his magic. He wasn't expecting her to actually agree to sleep beside him. Red's irritated, of course, rolling over and muttering under his breath--likely about how much of a cock-block Edge is being right now, but he doesn't pay his brother any mind. 

No, instead he was thinking about how she's going to end up sleeping beside him. 

The human side-stepped him while he's lost in that contemplation, and he didn't register that she was showering until he heard the lock on the bathroom door click into place. Finally, that seemed to snap him out of his stupor, so that he could begin getting ready for bed. Red was pointedly ignoring him while Edge moved his coffee cup to the kitchenette sink and then folded his robe over the back of the chair, leaving him in his black, satin pajamas. 

Edge surveyed the bed, noting just now cramped it would be with three adults sleeping together--especially with two of them being monsters. 

_THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!_

_I SHOULD HAVE GONE DOWNSTAIRS TO HANDLE THE MATTER MYSELF! I COULD HAVE GOTTEN HER ANOTHER ROOM._

_.... BUT WHAT IF SHE HAD ENDED UP IN SOMEONE ELSE'S ROOM?_

_NO... IT'S BETTER IF SHE STAYS IN HERE. AT LEAST I CAN KEEP AN EYE ON HER AND MAKE SURE NOTHING HAPPENS!_

Was he concerned about the others cuddling up to her in her sleep? Strangely, yes, and he couldn't put his finger on why it bothered him so much. He had seen the way they looked at her--and the way his brother seemed to be following her around like some lovesick puppy. It was disgusting! It was--

\--something that sparked his jealousy.

And he _hated_ that!

Edge threw back the covers, earning an irritated growl from his brother, before he slipped in the middle of the bed and laid completely still on his back, glowering at the ceiling.

He had never slept with a human in the same bed before, and the only monster to ever sleep beside him was Red. Of course, it had been years since that had happened--back when Edge was young enough that he couldn't sleep without a bedtime story, and Red happened to have nightmares.

The bathroom door creaked on its hinges, and the human steps back into the room.

"You both look miserable," she remarked, prompting an irritable growl from both Edge and Red. His brother was pissed at him, but Edge didn't care; he wouldn't be able to sleep if he was concerned about what Red was doing throughout the night. 

He shouldn't care. It shouldn't matter.

His eyesockets narrow. 

When she slipped into the bed beside him, smelling of a fresh floral scent from the resort's shampoo, his spine stiffened and his phalanges curled into fists. She was so warm, her skin retaining the heat from the shower; he could feel it even without touching her. 

Her shoulder brushes his, and he feels his cheekbones heat up even more.

"DON'T CUDDLE ME IN THE NIGHT, HUMAN!" his voice comes out strained.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Did she just make a sleep pun? He's so tense that he can barely stand it. 

"GOOD! KEEP IT THAT WAY!" His voice is even louder than usual, bursting out of him.

Everyone remains quiet, and from their breathing, no one is sleeping. Slowly, his irritation seems to ease, the tension relaxing from his spine. This isn't that bad. 

_SHE'S SO WARM._

He shifts, and his leg touches hers. The pant leg of his pajamas rides up and his fibula touches her skin. Surprisingly, she doesn't pull back from the sensation, and... he can't bring himself to pull back, either.

He falls asleep with his arms crossed over his chest.

###### 

Of course, when he wakes up, it's a different story.

The first semi-coherent thought he has is that he's comfortable and warm. Yes, this is what an MTT Resort bed feels like. He never was one to take a vacation in the Underground--he always scoffed at the idea whenever he saw the commercials for the luxurious Resort on MTTV. However, since coming into this pacifist Surface timeline, he's done quite a few things he said he never would.

Such as being idle. 

Or cuddling a human.

.... Wait, _what_?

He stiffened, slowly realizing that the wonderful scent of a meadow wasn't from a pillowcase, but from _her_. All at once, his memories of the night before came rushing back. His fingertips pressed into the softness that he now knows isn't his pillow, but the flesh of her stomach. His hand was beneath her shirt, but he didn't withdraw it; no, he longed to feel more of her skin instead.

So he did, his hand sliding up her side, while he hooked his leg tighter around hers, pulling her deeper within his spoon. Her breath hitched, and he realized she's not only awake, but watching him. Slowly, he lifted his head and met her gaze, but... she doesn't appear afraid, and she isn't pulling away from his grasp. 

He's used to her looking at him with a challenge in her gaze or rolling her eyes at him as she disregards his authority. She's infuriating and challenges him at every turn, despite (or perhaps because of) the fact that she was in a controlling relationship. It's refreshing to see someone not back down, to know that she won't cower away from him, but face him head on. 

But the look in her eyes then was different. She was looking at him in awe, her expression tender and almost dazed. His eyelights dropped to her lips, which were slightly parted. He could feel her warm breath fanning against his teeth. 

His fingers pressed into her belly, urging her to roll halfway back, so he'd have a better angle for her mouth. He leaned in, his opposite arm tightening possessively on her body. Stars, how he wanted to smash his teeth against her lips and coax them apart by sinking his fangs into her bottom one. 

And then the bathroom door opened, and the moment was gone. Edge panicked, snapping back into reality, and shoved her away from him in a hurry. While she cursed and Red demanded an explanation, Edge was unable to meet either person's gaze. He knew his face was bright red. 

_STARS, WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I DOING?_

After several deflections and a lot of yelling, Edge stomped off into the bathroom to change.


	10. Ch. 16  *somethin' eating you? (HT!bros POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had a ton of requests for Ch. 16 from the POV's of both the HT!bros, so here it is! <3

####  **Crooks.**

There's quite the commotion outside, which simply will not do. This dinner has to be perfect! Crooks has been looking forward to it ever since the human girl agreed to come over and become better acquainted. And if Crooks knows anything, the best way to show one's generosity and hospitality is by preparing a meal for them--by sharing something that means so much. 

Besides, he's always gotten such joy over watching people eat his cooking. All of the humans he met Underground (well, the scrawny ones, anyway. He always tried to fatten them up--not that it really mattered) had gratefully accepted his Special Spaghetti. 

And there were days when he still missed it. 

Days like today, when a human is so close. 

Crooks pushes the thought aside, crossing the house in several long strides to pull the door open. One of the other skeletons--another form of his brother, though he acted nothing like him--tumbles unceremoniously onto Crooks's boots. He levels his brother with a look. 

"I THOUGHT I HEARD VOICES OUTSIDE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING STANDING AROUND HERE? COME IN, COME IN!" His gaze shifts to the human, and she smiles at him, looking radiant. He can't help but feel better when he sees her. The human's gaze doesn't hold any fear or disdain toward him and his brother. It did when they first met, of course, but Crooks knew that all it would take was a proper meal to get her to look past their appearances, and he was right! 

Now, with this meal, they could cement a proper friendship. It would be like when Frisk first came through! They could do puzzles together, and cook together, and maybe he'd even pull out his Dating Manual again!

Axe warned him against trusting humans again, forbidding him from talking about Frisk... and that was before his head wound. After it, he barely remembered their human friend, and whenever Crooks brought them up, Axe would have a Bad Day, and so he stopped. 

"AND HUMAN, I'VE PREPARED SOME RATHER SPECIAL SPAGHETTI FOR YOU! ONE OF MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE FORMS OF IT! I HOPE YOUR STOMACH IS READY FOR THE CULINARY DELIGHTS IT'S ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE!"

Her grin only widens, and he's so happy to have it directed at him. "My stomach's been ready all week," she says.

"THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR! THOUGH I DO HOPE YOU'VE STILL BEEN EATING REGULARLY! EATING IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF KEEPING YOUR STRENGTH UP!"

These are words that he's said to Axe on several occasions, whenever his brother gave him his rations and flippantly claimed he was full was eating fried snow all day. 

"Don't worry; I have."

"GOOD! WELL, COME ON. LET'S EAT! ALL OF YOU ARE WELCOME!"

The smaller skeleton at his feet scrambles to get up and go into the kitchen, dusting wrinkles from his clothes in an effort to maintain his dignity. The brother follows suit, avoiding eye contact with Crooks as he passes. Crooks isn't surprised; it's not a secret that the brothers don't like him and Axe. Likely, they resent them for existing since the two of them are tasked with bringing them supplies... which is something that they don't even do on a consistent basis. Of course, Axe is more than eager to defy them and go to town himself, though whenever he does, it leaves Crooks filled with nervousness. 

What if something happens to him in this unfamiliar world?

Or what if he has another Bad Day?

Crooks waits in the kitchen for his brother and the human to join them, before he gestures to the food set on the table. "HELP YOURSELVES! WOULD ANY OF YOU LIKE HOTDOGS TO GO WITH IT? SANS MADE THEM!"

"I'D SOONER STARVE THAN EAT ANYTHING THAT MENACE PREPARED! THERE'S NO TELLING WHAT HE USED FOR MEAT!" Blackberry makes a disgusted face, yet he still scoops out a portion of spaghetti onto his plate. "JUST AS THERE'S SOME CONCERN WITH YOUR SPAGHETTI. I SEE CHUNKS IN IT."

Crooks knows what he's insinuating, but he would never serve them human. "THAT'S MY SECRET INGREDIENT! BACON! THE SAUCE IS ALSO PREPARED WITH HUMAN BEER, BUT FEAR NOT! SINCE IT HAS BEEN COOKED, IT WILL NOT GET YOU DRUNK!"

Not that the human beer would get him drunk, anyway. Maybe the others, but thanks to Crooks's size, human beer didn't seem to have any effect on him. He always liked to keep a clear, level head anyway. 

Once everyone has gotten their food, Crooks takes a seat. The other two skeletons have already begun to rudely eat, but the human has manners enough to wait on everyone, which Crooks appreciates. He watches her closely as she twirls some noodles around her fork and then takes a bite. When her gaze meets his, Crooks finds himself leaning forward in anticipation.

"WELL?"

Her expression lights up. "It's delicious."

Crooks beams with pride, leaning back in his chair. He knew she would love it; he's an excellent chef! "OF COURSE IT IS! CERTAINLY, IT HAS TO BE THE BEST SPAGHETTI TO EVER GRACE YOUR PALLET!"

"Certainly. Best thing I've eaten in a while." 

A genuine compliment! It makes Crooks want to cook for her forever, to share all his meals with someone that clearly appreciates them. Unlike the other two skeletons... He catches Blackberry scowling, obviously miffed that his cooking can never compare to THE GREAT MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS. 

Why, the noodles used in the spaghetti were aged in an oaken cask! He had pulled out the big guns to make sure this friendship would stick. 

As much as he loved his brother, Crooks was a social butterfly that had become rather lonely. 

The dinner conversation continues, moving from hotdogs, to water sausages, to the other skeletons' roles in Crooks and Axe's lives. Crooks tries to keep the conversation light, but Blackberry and Axe have never gotten along, so it isn't long before the two of them get into an argument.

Blackberry is glaring at Axe, yet addressing the human guest. "LANDLADY, DID YOU KNOW THAT THESE TWO USED TO EAT HU--"

Crooks feels panic surge into his SOUL, but Axe is quick to react. A sharp bone suddenly rises from the floor behind Blackberry, but a bone wall quickly deflects it. Crooks has to admit, the skeleton brother everyone treats like a dog has quick reflexes. 

"get out of my house," Axe grinds out. 

Crooks can tell that Axe has reached his limit. His attack just now had the full intent of harming Blackberry. It wouldn't have been enough to dust him thanks to his LOVE, but Axe likely wouldn't have stopped there. 

Still, he wants to smooth it over. He doesn't want the human to think they're violent. "SANS, YOU'RE BEING TOO IMPULSIVE! THEY DIDN'T GET TO FINISH THEIR SPAGHETTI!"

Both of Axe's eyeockets go dark, and Crooks realizes there's no getting through to him when he's like that. "i said **g e t o u t .** "

Blackberry smirks, looking to the human. "YOU SEE WHAT I MEANT, DON'T YOU? THEY'RE DANGEROUS AND UNHINGED!"

Did the little skeleton purposely provoke Axe to make the human afraid of them? Was it his plan from the very beginning to sabotage their dinner under the guise of 'looking out for the human'?

Crooks's expression hardens, and he stands to his full, impressive height. "I'M AFRAID MY BROTHER IS RIGHT. YOU TWO HAVE OVERSTAYED YOUR WELCOME, BUT WE STILL HAVE OUR HUMAN GUEST TO ENTERTAIN. SO YOU SHOULD PLEASE LEAVE."

There's _no way_ they're ruining his chance at making a friend. 

Blackberry huffs. "FINE! ARE YOU STAYING, PET?"

Crooks watches the human carefully, pleading with his gaze for her to stay, to not be afraid of them. She nods, and he feels relief wash over him, the tension draining from his bones. "Yeah, I'd like to help Cr--...Papyrus with the dishes."

He loves it that she calls him by his name instead of the nickname the others concocted for him. It isn't that he hates the nickname, but--it just doesn't feel right, like they're trying to hide who he really is. 

The others finally leave, and Axe disappears into another room, likely to calm down. Crooks focused instead on their human guest. His smile is apologetic. "WELL THAT WASN'T WHAT I'D CALL A PEACEFUL DINNER. SORRY ABOUT THAT, HUMAN! DID YOU REALLY WANT TO HELP CLEAN UP? IT'S REALLY NOT NECESSARY FOR A GUEST!"

"No, no, I insist." She stands and begins gathering dishes, while Crooks begins to clear a space by the sink. It's sweet of her to offer, but when the moves to scrape the excess food on the plates into the garbage, Crooks is quick to react on instinct. He practically lunges across the kitchen to snag her wrist, and he feels her jump. 

"NO, NO, WAIT! AH... SORRY!" He lets go of her arm, his cheekbones tinging red. Stars, did he scare her? If he keeps acting like that, she's going to believe Blackberry when he claimed they were unhinged! "WE DON'T... THROW AWAY FOOD. YOU CAN SCRAPE IT BACK INTO THE SPAGHETTI BOWL FOR LATER."

How many times did Papyrus have to fight off his fellow monsters that tried to scavenge the Dump? Undyne's orders were absolute.

Undyne's orders were to burn the Dump, to rid the Underground of that place. She did it out of grief, he knew, but... there could have been food there. 

Still, Papyrus did what he was told because it helped his friend. And if maybe, one day, she would come back to her senses--that she would stop mourning what she claimed Frisk took from her--and everything would be all right again.

And then she'd let him _out_ of the Royal Guard. He hated it, hated what she made him do as Captain.

The human obediently scrapes the food into the spaghetti bowl instead of the trash. "Sorry about that." Her voice sounds small, like she doesn't quite understand. He supposes that she doesn't; after all, neither of them had talked about their timeline. The other Sans--the one of this timeline--didn't like when the others told people of the timelines.

But this human already knew, so what was the harm?

"SORRY, IT'S JUST..." He looks around, as if Blackberry and Mutt are still lurking, keeping tabs on how much he's confiding in the human. "WHERE WE'RE FROM... THERE WASN'T MUCH FOOD. AT ALL. SO, WE DON'T WASTE FOOD."

She seems confused, as to be expected. "There wasn't much food Underground? But the others never mentioned that."

"IT WAS... DIFFERENT WHERE SANS AND I CAME FROM. THERE WAS AN UPRISING--RIOTS, THINGS LIKE THAT. IT DIMINISHED THE FOOD SUPPLY IN A HURRY, AND MONSTERS... BEGAN TO STARVE."

The Dump wasn't the only thing to burn. 

Looting was on the rise, and monsters were killing one another over petty squabbles. Crooks couldn't keep the peace. Undyne was becoming more and more unstable, and after what she did to Sans...

Crooks became frightened of her.

Any that opposed her died, and yet he and Sans committed the biggest treason of them all. If they were caught, the punishment would be far worse than any death.

The human's hand on his forearm startles Crooks from his past, and he looks at the fingers gently curled around his bone. There is kindness there, in that touch--kindness he hasn't felt in a long time. His eyelights shift to her face, and it isn't pity he sees reflected back at him, but empathy. Her grip tightens, and she murmurs, "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

No one's ever said those words. When the others discovered what their timeline was like--what they'd eaten to survive--they had been appalled, frightened. Of course, this human doesn't know the full story, but... Crook's smile turns gentle. "IT'S ALL RIGHT. WE'RE OUT OF THE SITUATION NOW, BUT... I HONESTLY WISH WE WEREN'T."

"You... wish you were still Underground?"

He nods, turning back to washing the dishes, keeping his hands busy. "IT DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT, BEING UP HERE WHILE THE OTHERS ARE STILL UNDERGROUND. AND I'VE BEEN THINKING THAT... IF WE WERE PULLED FROM OUR UNDERGROUND, THAT MEANS THE MONSTERS OF SNOWDIN ARE LEFT WITHOUT US THERE. AND THAT MEANS... THEY'RE LIKELY NOT FAIRING WELL." 

The two of them fed most of the town, along with the Guard Dogs that were loyal to Crooks. They hid all of it from Undyne, and Crooks took the brunt of her anger by enduring savage beatings for his failures. 

If he and Sans were gone, was Snowdin fed? Was someone else taking the blame for the skelebros' actions?

"WE HUNTED FOR THEM. WE BROUGHT THEM FOOD."

The human still doesn't understand. "But can't they hunt without you? I mean, with magic, it should be easy, right?"

His smile lifts curves his teeth a little, humorless. Human SOULs are so much stronger than monsters, even if monsters have magic. With enough intent, the Guard Dogs could easily be wiped out. "YOU WOULD THINK." He sighs, hoping that isn't the case. "BUT THERE'S NO HONOR IN HUNTING THAT WAY. IT ISN'T FAIR."

He thinks to the puzzles he concocted. One misstep meant forfeiting their life. But at least he gave them an opportunity to prove they were cunning enough to deserve to live when their death could easily sustain so many lives.

"Fair? What were you hunting?" 

He pauses, looking at the human as she asks such an innocent question. He imagines her going through his puzzles. The first night they had met, she had injured her ankle on a string of barbed wire he had set. 

... She wouldn't survive past the first puzzle in his timeline.

"Papyrus?" she presses, and he bows his head. He can't look at her anymore. 

"PLEASE... DON'T ASK ME THAT." 

If she had been a human to fall Underground, he knows without a doubt that she would have ended up in his Special Spaghetti.

He knows she would have been delicious.

The dish fumbles between her fingers, only cementing his assumption that she wouldn't make it through his puzzles. She's too clumsy. "Y-you said there was no honor in hunting with magic, right?" He nods, glancing toward her face. Her fingers are trembling. Is she cold? "So how did you hunt, then?"

"PUZZLES! THEY HAD A FAIR CHANCE TO ESCAPE BY GETTING THROUGH THE PUZZLES!" He trails off a little. The humans that had fallen hadn't been clever at all. He had begun to think that perhaps he was expecting too much from them, since the puzzles were concocted by someone with his mental fortitude! "NOT THAT ANYONE EVER GOT THROUGH THEM... WE EVEN STARTED GIVING OUT FRISBEES!"

"Frisbees?" 

"freebies. three of 'em," Axe remarks, suddenly standing in the threshold to the kitchen with a cigarette between his teeth.

###### 

####  **Axe**

He had lost his cool a little there, sure. 

He could admit it. That little tyrant version of himself always pushed his buttons. Sure, the brat had LOVE, but he was also so self-entitled and bossy. He even treated his own brother like garbage, even though that Papyrus happened to feed his ego and be both his protector and his attack dog.

It pissed him off.

He knew that his brother wanted this dinner to be something that would bridge a friendship between them and the human girl, and Axe had to admit, he wanted it, too. Texting her dark jokes was one of his guilty pleasures, something she actually responded to, much to his surprise. And even when his mirror had been trying to push him around last time, the human had actually taken his side. 

It was... interesting. 

Axe wanted to see what the others saw in her. Humans weren't something he typically cared about, not past what they could do for him. He didn't care about their well-being, if they lived or died, but that could also be said for every monster he knew--aside from his brother. Papyrus is all that he has; the last human he trusted, well...

.... Well, what _had_ happened? There were too many holes in his memories, too many pieces ripped away from him. All he knew was that his instincts screamed for him to err on the side of caution.

That, of course, didn't mean he couldn't get to know their little human. It was obvious just from watching his mirror and the asshole version they called Red that those two had feelings for her. 

So, what made her so special?

He inhales deeply, his spine leaned against the side of the house, and then exhales the smoke into the night. Smoking isn't something he does often, but he picked it up after all the **RESET** s and other shit he had to endure. It helped ground him when he needed it the most.

And right now, he needed it so he didn't pick up his femur ax and start swinging.

"freebies. there of 'em."

He had returned to the living room just in time to catch the exchange between Paps and the human, where the human was obviously prying a little too much. He didn't blame her; after all the cryptic bullshit the others had spouted, it was only natural to be curious. 

Although from the way her voice had gotten quiet and occasionally wavered, he could tell the _fear_ was creeping back into her.

That was a shame. He had actually kind of enjoyed talking to her. It passed the time, at least.

"AH YES! THREE FRISBEES! IT WAS HARD TO FIND THAT MANY FRISBEES UNDERGROUND, YOU KNOW!"

"freebies. stars, pap, there were no frisbees!" There are some times with Papyrus absolutely infuriates him, and this is one of them. 

Papyrus turns toward him with furrowed brows. "IF THERE WERE NONE, THEN IT WASN'T VERY FAIR, WAS IT?" Axe groans, while his brother spots the cigarette and stomps his foot. "AND PUT THAT OUT THIS INSTANT! I'VE TOLD YOU HOW MUCH I ABHOR THAT DREADFUL HABIT!"

"eh." Yeah, he knew that Papyrus would be pissed if he saw, but he didn't care. It's not as if the smoke can actually hurt him. He takes one last drag before snuffing out the end of the cigarette against his palm. It doesn't hurt much, but the feeling is unpleasant, which helps. "needed a smoke break. but it looks like you two are getting awfully chatty." 

He stares hard at the human, and she actually appears a little nervous. 

"YES, I WAS TELLING THE HUMAN ABOUT HOW WE ONLY EVER ENGAGED IN A FAIR HUNT."

"issat so?" Axe's smile tightens, his eyelight never leaving her face. "any thoughts on that, kiddo?"

She takes her time to find the correct words. "The bacon in the spaghetti was really bacon, right? From a pig?"

That question makes Axe chuckle humorlessly. 

_*she knows. she figured it out._

_*not like it was difficult to piece together thanks to those assholes all but shouting it in her face._

"YES! I HAVE THE PACKAGE STILL IF YOU NEED TO LOOK!" Papyrus claims, moving toward the trash. Axe bristles, his spine stiffening. 

_*paps has nothing to prove to her._

Luckily, she shakes her head. "I trust you." 

_*trust? ha, what a liar._

_*she just figured out we hunted and ate humans. why would a sheep trust a couple of wolves?_

"Have you two hunted since you've been on the Surface?"

It's a loaded question, one that Papyrus begins to answer. Axe speaks over him, "nope. we get all our food from those two jerks, unless i go into the monster settlements."

_*the first few weeks in this timeline were... rough._

"I WISH I COULD GO!"

Thankfully, his brother leads the conversation away from hunting. Axe is fairly certain that Papyrus picked up on the tone of the discussion. Papyrus may be a little difficult sometimes, his mind seemingly running in all directions when he speaks, but he's also still incredibly sharp-witted. It's one of the things that's always made him so cool, even when life in the Underground seemed bleak.

"Maybe I could take you sometime," the human offers, causing Axe to narrow his eyesockets. She's being awfully nice to his brother, despite everything she just learned.

"REALLY? BUT, THEY DON'T THINK I SHOULD LEAVE THE WOODS."

"I think it'll be fine. There has _got_ to be monsters that look scarier than you."

"THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, TOO!"

_*what's her angle? she gonna bolt as soon as she's outside?_

_*she's starting to get his hopes up._

"hate to cut things short, but it's getting late. i should walk y/n back to the lodge."

"AWW, BUT WE COULD HAVE A SLUMBER PARTY!"

_*a slumber party where the entire lodge decides we've killed and eaten her and then knocks down our door?_

_*pass._

"yeah, no. that would just get the whole lodge out here, and i've had enough monsters i can't stand in my house for one day."

"YOU'RE NO FUN, BROTHER!" Axe shrugs, and Papyrus turns to the human. "I ENJOYED OUR TALK, HUMAN! YOU'RE ALWAYS WELCOME IN OUR HOUSE, IF YOU'D EVER LIKE TO WATCH MTT WITH ME! OR PERHAPS HELP ME SET PUZZLE TRAPS THROUGHOUT THE WOODS! THOSE ARE ALWAYS FUN!"

"Thanks, Pap. I'll take you up on that offer."

Axe's smile tightens.

"HERE! TAKE SOME LEFTOVERS WITH YOU AS A GIFT!"

Papyrus bends to hand the container to her, and the human accepts, wrapping her arms around his neck. Axe can see from his brother's expression that she's caught the taller skeleton off-guard; his cheekbones are pink, and his smile warm. It's something Axe hasn't seen often from Papyrus, something that brings back remnants of old memories, back when his brother was the same Papyrus as the one in the lodge. 

His SOUL tightens in his chest, and he absently rubs the heel of his palm against it.

"Thanks," the human murmurs.

"ANYTIME, HUMAN! I'LL KEEP IN TOUCH!" Papyrus is positively beaming when he pulls back. Axe catches the shimmer to the girl's gaze, before she blinks it away and follows him out of the house. Could that have possibly been genuine?

As soon as they're both outside, Axe whirls around to face her.

"what're you doing?"

She gives him a deadpan look. "Walking with you?"

_*what a smartass._

"no. i heard the exchange with paps. i know you're not stupid--"

_*or is she?_

"--least i hope you're not that dense. you know what we hunted underground. yet, you still told paps you'd take him to a monster grocery store. why get his hopes up when you're going to bolt?"

His smile is grim, and he flexes his fingers, itching to stick them in his unlit socket. His eyelight keeps shifting between her face and the container clasped in her hand. He's not one for sharing his food--hell, he didn't want to share it with the Bastard Brothers, either, but Paps is filled with hospitality--but... after seeing the way she hugged Papyrus and the look on his brother's face...

If she meant what she said, that changes things.

"You were both starving. The entire Underground seemed to be starving. So, you hunted humans that fell in, right? Ate them?"

_*good. she's not stupid after all._

"yeah."

"And if you hadn't, you would have died, right? And so would other monsters?"

He meets her gaze directly, though he's slower to answer this time. "yeah."

She nods, seemingly satisfied. "Then I don't see a reason to be scared. There have been plenty of reports of people getting lost in the mountains and eating one another to survive. You didn't have a choice, but at least Papyrus tried to give them a chance, I guess?" 

He can only stare, caught off-guard by the fact that she's rationalizing their situation. Everyone else looked down on them--looked down on _Pap._ But she's trying to see it from their perspective.

"you're not scared?"

Her gaze sweeps over him, obviously taking in his haggard appearance and stained clothing. 

_*those stains aren't ketchup, pal._

"No. I'm not," she responds, her voice even and her chin resolutely lifted. He couldn't detect the slightest bit of fear in her.

_*she doesn't understand everything._

_*it wasn't just to survive._

_*it was fun. a change of pace. something different._

"heh," he chuckles lightly, his expression relaxing. "you should be, kid. you're a strange one."

_*and that's coming from me._

She shrugs, a small smile on her face. "Not the first time I've heard that."

_*she really is something else._

"c'mon, let's get you home."

Axe walks her through traps--some that don't even exist just to watch her hop around and follow his absurd orders. She does all of it with a smile on her face, laughing and teasing him. He ends up laughing along with her, telling her stupid jokes that she laughs at despite the circumstances. 

It's nice, having this kind of company. It feels... nostalgic, like the whispers of memories just beyond his grasp.

When the lodge comes into view, she noticeably begins to slow her steps, drawing out the moment together. 

_*strange. did something happen in the lodge?_

_*it was kinda weird that they even let her come alone._

_*thought for sure that collared idiot would be growling at me from across the table the entire time._

"That night that we first met... what did Sans talk to you about?"

Axe looks up at the lodge, imagining his mirror sitting inside, waiting to see if she makes it home in one piece. 

_*he always thinks the worst of me._

_*heh, but what does that say about what he thinks of himself?_

"what do you think? he told me to stay away from you, said i should've called him as soon as paps found you. i told him i lost his number." He shrugs. It had been a lie, and of course his mirror didn't buy it. "they all think we're crazy."

"Did you both really leave the lodge on your own?"

"yep. got tired of being looked at like some sort of freak. of adhering to those ridiculous nicknames as if i'm the copy or something. couldn't stand them looking at paps like they were, either. they're all such chicken-shits." He practically spats the word, his hands fisted in his pockets. Slowly, he exhales. 

_*huh. i didn't intend on being that honest about it._

"so i found the house, and we moved in there. not long after, the other two jerks got kicked out, and science-boy decided to set them up close to us under the guise of _helping us_. what a joke."

"What if I help you? I could get you things from town, or go with you to the monster settlements."

He pauses, turning to stare into her eyes. He finds only sincerity there. "you're serious about that offer." 

She smiles, trying to lighten the conversation. "If it'll help you. Plus, I've never been to a monster settlement, so it can be an adventure."

_*the others won't like this. especially my double._

_*...good._

"i'd ad _venture_ that this doesn't go over well, but hell." He shrugs. "it's a date, pal."

The two meander to the front door while they talk, and she unlocks it and steps inside, turning halfway to face him. "Thanks for walking me back. We'll set up a time to go soon, okay?"

_*she doesn't want me to come inside._

_*i must be right. the others aren't happy about this._

_*yet she still came._

"ok. welp, see ya, kid."

And then, he vanishes. Axe's shortcuts are limited. He usually uses them for dramatic effect, or to confuse someone who may be pursuing him, but he can't go far. In this case, it looked like he was using it for dramatic effect, but...

He really took the shortcut up to her room in the loft. 

If she didn't want him coming inside because of the others, fine. But he had realized something tonight. 

She makes him feel different. She genuinely cares about Papyrus. She went against the entire lodge to come meet with him, despite the fact that they were warning her for her safety. She chose to believe in him and Papyrus, to trust them. 

And she's not afraid of them.

Axe had decided to find out what was so special about the human girl, what the others saw in her that made them keep her around--and he had figured it out.

So, he decided that he'd tell her just that, instead of waiting for the next time they'd meet up. If no one else wanted to make a move, he'd make one himself. It wasn't like he hadn't gone to human cities since coming to this timeline and found humans that were _curious_ about monsters. He'd flat-out tell her that he meant the date comment.

And then he'd kiss her right then and there.

Voices come from downstairs; the others are talking to her. From the loft, he can hear the entire conversation. 

Apparently, his mirror had put that attack dog to the task of walking her back, which makes Axe even more pleased that he insisted on walking her back himself. However, when she admits that she knows what he and Papyrus had eaten in the past to the entire lodge, he feels the shocked hush fall over all of them. 

She's standing up for them, not allowing the others to make decisions for her. 

The others are still gathered there, voicing their concerns, and Axe clearly remembers how they treated him and his brother.

"I promise, you have nothing to worry about with Axe and Crooks," she insists, and Axe makes his decision. He shortcuts down to the living room, startling the human and causing some of the other skeletons to jump as well. The air is electric; the others are ready to fight him.

_*get ready for a fight._

"sorry to _drop in_ , but i realized i forgot something."

He turns to the girl, who appears so innocently confused. "You did? What?"

_*how cute._

"this."

And with that, he dips her backward, relishing in the way she sucks in a breath, her gaze still locked with his own. He leans forward, pressing his teeth against her soft lips, his fingers threading through her hair. Everything about her is just as soft--warm and inviting--and instead of pushing him or trying to pull away, she's clutching the front of his jacket, inadvertently pulling herself closer to him. Some of the others are shouting protests, but Axe blocks all of it out, his senses focused solely on her. His moves his teeth against her lips, hoping that she'll part them, his tongue already manifested and beginning to slaver inside his mouth. 

She relaxes in his arms, her lips moving slightly, responding to the kiss.

Victory surges through him.

_*this is enough._

_*the others get the point._

He draws back, taking in the sight of her glazed expression and slightly-parted lips. 

_*stars, she's beautiful._

_*and mine._

Axe chuckles, his grin spreading wide. "now i'm good."

And with a wink, he vanishes--this time to the woods. 

He's not worried about her falling; if his mirror can pull himself together, his reflexes are more than good enough to catch her. 

Axe returns home, feeling satisfied. In one smooth move, he declared his intent to both her and everyone in that lodge.

And from the crashes he heard as he left, he knows that they got the message. 

_*it's on._


	11. Ch. 16: Axeing Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ask was: "Did Axe tells Crooks that the human knows they ate human and isn't afraid of them? I'm just wondering because during the drinking game they don't even hide the fact. If so, could we see their point of view when Axe tells Crooks the reader knows please?"
> 
> *This is a conversation between Axe and Crooks, directly following the Lady's dinner with them. 
> 
> Set at the end of [Chapter 16](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9816140/chapters/25318116).

~~Axe~~ Sans sank into the couch when he returned home from walking the Lady back to the lodge. Lightly, he reached up and brushed the tips of his phalanges against his teeth. 

He'd really just kissed her--in front of _all of her housemates_. He'd made his intentions crystal clear, and... she hadn't even pushed him away. He couldn't believe it. 

He could still picture her flushed face, the surprise in her gaze as she stared into his eyesockets, the way her lips were slightly parted and he could feel the warmth of her shuddering breath fan against his teeth.

"SANS!"

He jumped so hard that he nearly slid off the worn-out couch cushion. His brother stepped into the living room, and Sans shoved his hands in his pockets as he tried to collect himself. "sheesh, you nearly scared me outta _my skin_ , paps."

Papyrus rolled his eyelights. "YOU DON'T EVEN _HAVE_ SKIN, BROTHER!" His demeanor shifted as Axe grinned, the irritation fading from his expression. "DID THE HUMAN MAKE IT HOME SAFELY?"

 _Home._ The idea of that lodge being her home didn't entirely sit well with Sans. There was too much animosity toward him and his brother at that lodge; she was the only person there that actually seemed to trust them. 

It almost soured his good mood. But then he recalled the looks on their faces when he dipped her back and pressed his teeth to her lips. He could still hear their shouts of outrage, their collective gasp of horror. 

The memory would be keeping a smile on his face for a long time.

"yeah, she got back in one piece."

Papyrus exhaled, his posture relaxing. "GOOD. I..." He wrings his gloved hands in front of him, causing Sans to narrow his good eyesocket at the nervous habit. "SHE'S DIFFERENT THAN THE OTHER HUMANS, ISN'T SHE, SANS?"

Other humans could mean so many things nowadays. He could be referring to the humans they once hunted Underground, the ones that the skelebros watched die time and time again to Papyrus's deadly puzzles. As excited as Papyrus became whenever he spotted a human to subject to his constructions, it was known that none of them had survived a puzzle in years. It was also no secret that Papyrus had become desensitized to their deaths, often watching impassively with a detached smile as they failed and then lecturing their corpse on what they could've done differently while Sans chuckled. 

Or Papyrus could be referring to the humans that Sans picked up in town and took back to their cabin when he was on the verge of a Bad Day and wanted to feel numb. As much as he tried to hide his indiscretions from his brother ( _though it was more that he didn't want the humans to freak out when they spotted Papyrus. If he was annoyed enough, he had no qualms about putting a bone through their heart, but then the other skeletons would surely be up his pelvis about it, and that would only put him in a worse mood. Sometimes, it was better to play by their hypocritical rules_ ), Papyrus wasn't blind, nor was he an idiot. He knew what was going on, though he pretended not to for the sake of Sans's privacy. 

Either way, it was obvious she was different. Neither brother wanted to kill her or eat her, and while Sans wouldn't mind escorting her back to his bedroom for a night, she wasn't a nameless one-night stand, either. No, she had proven himself to be something more--and treated him as more than he saw in himself. 

"yeah, paps, she's different," Sans responded, and the tension noticeably drained from Papyrus's stance, his fingers untwisting to fall to his sides. 

"I'M GLAD TO HEAR YOU SAY IT, BROTHER! I THINK SO, TOO. SHE'S... SHE'S NOT AFRAID. IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE BEEN AROUND A HUMAN THAT DIDN'T SCREAM AND TRY TO RUN AWAY! WELL, ASIDE FROM THAT ONE THAT THREW ROCKS AT US. AND FRISK! FRISK WAS THE LAST HUMAN WE WERE FRIENDS WITH! I WONDER IF THEY'RE--"

" **no.** " His sharp tone was enough to bring Papyrus's train of thought to a screeching halt. Sans's smile had tightened, both eyelights extinguishing as he hooked his fingers around the outside of an orbit, digging them in until half his palm was buried within. His memories were fragmented when it came to Frisk, but he remembered enough to know that his old pal had betrayed them. Undick had beaten that point in with a spear.

And he didn't want to see this timeline's Frisk--the Frisk that had cared enough to stick around and break the barrier, instead of setting all the human SOULs free, killing their king, and then vanishing without a second thought about the chaos they'd just unleashed upon the Underground. 

Papyrus cleared his throat, appearing a little uneasy. "AH--SORRY, BROTHER. I KNOW..." His voice trailed, and Sans slowly relaxed his grip on his eyesocket, the dilated eyelight flickering back into focus in the opposite eye. Papyrus returned to the subject at hand. "BUT THIS HUMAN! SHE ISN'T AFRAID OF ME! SHE DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO SCREAM AND TRASH OUT OF MY ARMS WHEN I BROUGHT HER HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!" The worry in his gaze had faded, a fond smile curving his jagged teeth at the memory. "SHE ASKED A FEW QUESTIONS ABOUT OUR LIVES UNDERGROUND--ABOUT THE FOOD SITUATION. SHE... SHE ASKED WHAT WE HUNTED, TOO." His gaze shifted toward the wall. "I DIDN'T ANSWER, BUT... IF SHE FOUND OUT..."

He finally hazarded a glance toward Sans, and there was fear within that trepidation, certainly--but there was also hope. 

"DO YOU THINK SHE'D LEAVE OR... NOT WANT TO BE AROUND US ANYMORE?"

Usually, the fact that Papyrus was concerned about what someone thought of them would have irked Sans, and he would have waved it off dismissively, assuring his brother that they could choke on their opinions for all that really mattered. However, he'd found himself in the same boat as Papyrus now. They both thought she was different than other humans, and Sans wasn't entirely unconvinced that she wouldn't disappoint them. 

His teeth tingled at the thought, the feel of her lips springing back to mind. 

Oh, he _really_ hoped she wouldn't disappoint them.

Sans sighed, finally unlocking his phalanges from his empty eyesocket and letting them scrape across his zygoma. "nah. she knows, pap."

Papyrus's eyesockets practically bulged. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SHE KNOWS?" He crossed the room in several long strides. "YOU TOLD HER?" His spine bent at nearly ninety degrees, yet Sans still had to crane his head back to meet his gaze from the couch. Once again, Papyrus was worrying the edges of his frayed gloves. Sans would need to help him repair them soon.

"she ain't stupid, paps." Sans's eyesocket lidded halfway in feigned nonchalance, and he shrugged. "i asked her if she was gonna leave, but... honestly, she didn't seem freaked out."

"THAT DIDN'T SCARE HER OFF?"

Sans recalled the way her lips had softened beneath his teeth as she responded to his kiss, the way her fingers fisted into the front of his jacket, the bright flush to her cheeks when he pulled back and she searched his face...

And what she had announced to the lodge moments before he kissed her: 

_I promise, you have nothing to worry about with Axe and Crooks._

His grin widened. That was one promise Sans wouldn't let her keep. 

"nope. when i left, there wasn't an ounce of fear in her."

"SHE UNDERSTOOD?" Papyrus pressed, astonishment in his voice. 

Sans nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. "somehow."

"THAT'S... WOWIE! SANS, THAT'S SUCH A RELIEF! WE CAN HAVE HER OVER FOR SLUMBER PARTIES NOW! AND I WONDER IF WE REALLY CAN GO SHOPPING TOGETHER!" 

While Papyrus was vibrating with excitement, Sans felt another vibration click against his palm. 

_*heh, couldn't wait to talk to me again, huh, kiddo?_

Smirking, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and glanced at the lit-up screen of his phone. Unfortunately, the name that displayed wasn't the one that he'd been expecting.

**asshole**

_Of course_ the _him_ of this timeline would be calling him. The jerk had a god complex when it came to the timeline as far as Sans was concerned, and he was always trying to control the others. It was likely that he was calling to chew him out for his display of affection, so Sans turned off his phone. He wasn't about to let that bastard taint his good mood; if he wanted to talk, he could come over and say it to his face.

Not that he would. The other-him liked to avoid Papyrus. 

_*too cowardly to face his failures._

That was fine by Sans; that meant that his evening would go uninterrupted. And while he was still in a decent mood, he was going to enjoy it. 

He patted the cushion beside him. "pop a squat, pap. let's see what's on mtt."


	12. Drunken Break-down (Papyrus Edition)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's the ask: "Hi, I was hoping to ask this for a more personal kind of thing. How would all the Papyrus's react to seeing the landlady curled up in a corner in the bathroom, crying her eyes out with possibly some booze in hand, just looking absolutely broken because she feels her life is falling apart."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This doesn't take place during any certain chapters. It's as canon as you want it to be; you can pretend it's later down the line when her ex gets a new girlfriend, or you can disregard it completely. It's really just written as an imagine, and I liked it enough to post it here.

It's been a week where nothing is going right.

You're rapidly approaching the feeling you had when you first came to the lodge, trying to get a reprieve before you had a break-down. You made the mistake of clicking on your ex's Facebook page, only to find him slandering you, accusing you of cheating on him with your monster lodgemates. You wouldn't have even clicked on it had it not been for his new girlfriend messaging you, trying to get the television back. She claimed she had the receipt for it with his credit card information listed, and the fact that someone could be that petty left you dumbfounded.

Not to mention that your family was at it again. Your phone was absolutely filled with passive-aggressive texts. Your father was furious that you quit your job and now relied on monsters to pay you rent. Your mom was texting you about how successful your ex's new girlfriend was, and how he's moved on. Everywhere you turned, it felt like you were doing something wrong or weren't good enough.

It unfortunately extended toward the edgier of your lodgemates, too. 

They questioned your decisions to hang around the skeletons in the woods. Edge snarked at you, and when you snapped back, Red got in the middle. You knew that you had reacted poorly--that the timing had been off in the situation--but... it felt almost as if the others were giving you a wider berth than usual after that. 

You should apologize. But you're tired. And the blue light blinking on your phone is making you want to smash it against the wall. 

So, you drink instead. You turned to alcohol the last time you wanted to forget yourself for a while, but enough time has passed that you've forgotten what the hangover felt like. You grab a bottle from downstairs and drink in the darkness of your room, trying to let the sting of the alcohol numb you. Didn't one of your friends once tell you never to drink alone, and never to drink when you're sad?

Pfft, you're a rebel. At this point, you're just drinking to feel better, to be able to sleep. It isn't long before the alcohol runs right through you, however, and you really have to pee. When you stand up from your bed, it hits you that you're more drunk than you thought; the world shifts around you, and you have to catch yourself with your palm against your chest of drawers on your way to your door. 

You go downstairs and head to one of the bathrooms, taking the bottle with you. 

After you manage to do your business without incident, you end up staring at yourself in the mirror for a moment. Your hair's everywhere, your eyes just seem devoid of their usual life, and you just... look like a mess. Your visage blurs, and it takes a moment for you to realize it's because you're crying, but when you do, you clasp a hand over your mouth to muffle the rising sob. It's suddenly too much effort to stand, so you sink to your knees and then rock back onto your butt. Your head rests against the cabinet below the sink, and you pull your legs in close, trying to hold yourself together when it just feels so much like everything is falling apart.

The bottle's still clasped in your hand.

You barely even register the sound of the door creaking open. 

 

** Papyrus: **

Papyrus thought he heard something, so he went to investigate. He was expecting it to have just been Sans coming up to his room after a long night of working in the basement--or maybe Red coming to the wrong floor while he was drunk. 

He never expected to find you, however, curled up on the bathroom floor and desperately attempting to muffle your sobs with your palm.

"Y/N!" Your name escapes him rather loudly, causing you to jerk from your misery. You're mortified and roughly rub your cheeks with the heels of your hands while sucking in a shaky breath. 

"P-paps," you manage, trying to force cheer into your tone. You fail miserably. "Sorry. I'll..." You trail off, unsure how to finish. 

Papyrus seems to realize that he was too loud and tries to move a little more quietly as he crosses the floor and crouches in front of you. His hands hover around your sides, not quite touching you, while his gaze skims over your body. "ARE YOU INJURED? IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?"

You shake your head; you're not hurt. But for his next question, you meet his gaze, tears rapidly welling in your eyes again. Your throat feels tight; it's difficult to force the word out. "N...No." You shake your head harder. "It's not."

His SOUL feels tight, and one of his hands grasps your upper arm. The other ever-so-gingerly raises to your face to wipe away a tear. He leans in, and inquiries with complete sincerity, "WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP YOU?"

You feel your face start to crumble, your mouth trembling. The bottle slips from your fingers as you latch onto the front of his pajamas, clinging to him like a lifeline while you bury your face into his chest. His arms slide around you, and he lets you stay like that for a moment... before he slowly rises, dragging you with him and up into his arms.

You're tired. You're suddenly so tired, and he's so comfortable. Gently, he carries you into his room--and the racecar bed you love so much. He lays you down, and you insistently tug him onto the bed beside you, where you can remain wrapped around him and he can rub his hands up and down your back. 

The motion lulls you to sleep.

You're too drunk--and too drained--to realize he stays awake, silently crying into your hair.

 

**Stretch:**

Stretch had been lying on the couch in the living room when he hears you stumble down both flights of stairs. He had been sleeping when you passed him earlier to get your booze, but the sound of you almost falling in the loft was enough to wake him up. Had you woken up in the middle of the night because of your human needs? It's strange that you would end up on the corridor with his room for that; you usually preferred the one on Sans and Papyrus's hall since it had less traffic. 

Ten minutes passed.

Then fifteen. 

Maybe you had gone to one of their rooms? Maybe you were talking to Red or you couldn't sleep and wanted to cuddle Blueberry? Maybe you had decided to apologize to Edge? 

Or maybe you had even gone looking for _him_?

Twenty minutes.

Stretch pushed up from the couch and decided it couldn't hurt to check. He wouldn't be concerned if the sound of you stumbling around hadn't been loud enough to wake him up. Something just felt... wrong. He hoped that he was wrong.

But when he pushed open the door, he realized he wasn't. 

"honey... hey," he breathed, immediately closing the door behind him and moving to crouch in front of you. You jerked away, turning to hide your tear-streaked face.

"Stretch! S-sorry." You don't know why you're apologizing, but you can't look at the painful expression he's wearing. He automatically pulls you against his chest, letting his hoodie soak in your tears. 

He usually doesn't pry. He didn't when it was obvious that something was going on when you snapped at Edge. He didn't when you started turning off your phone again and avoiding your messages. But, now, when you're falling to pieces with a bottle clasped in your hand, he can't stop himself from asking, "what's wrong?" 

You don't answer. Instead, you suddenly wrap your arms around him and hug him tight, shaking your head into his chest. He's reminded of the last time he saw you utterly wasted, when you had been at a bar after a huge fight with your ex--and after you got suspended from work.

"hun... is it your ex? is he harassing you again?" 

Technically, he hits the nail on the head, and you start sobbing louder in response. Stretch curses under his breath and sits down on the bathroom floor, pulling you into his lap. Gently, he rocks you back and forth, letting you cry it out while he just holds you and provides support. No matter what you're going through, he's going to be there for you.

And he's also going to make a few phone calls of his own in the morning.

 

** Edge: **

He's still sulking over the fact that you snapped at him when he hears you stumble into the bathroom. At first, he thinks it's just Red going into the wrong room while he's drunk--it's happened plenty of times before, and as much as Edge tries to steer his brother on the right path, it will undoubtedly happen again. He waits, listening for the door to open again, but it never does. 

After fifteen minutes pass, Edge decides he needs something to focus his ~~hurt feelings~~ righteous anger on and throws open his door. The light is still on in the bathroom, so he stalks over and throws it open, fully intending on scolding his brother for passing out in the bathroom and then dragging him back to his bedroom by his collar. However, he's completely unprepared for the sight of _you_ , curled up on the floor with your fingers loosely curled around the neck of a bottle, fighting back sobs.

The lecture dies on his tongue. On one hand, he's still angry with you, but on the other...

His SOUL clenches at the sight of you like this, looking so pitiful and vulnerable. You're supposed to be the strong one, unafraid to stand toe-to-toe with him. You're not supposed to be someone fragile enough to break down on the bathroom floor. 

"Shit." You're the first one to speak, the curse riding out on a shuddering exhale. You chuckle humorlessly and wipe your face. "Sorry... I..."

You trail off, leaving the thought unfinished. It hangs between the two of you, just like the fact that you're sort-of in a fight right now is hanging there, thickening the air. Edge finally moves, crossing the floor toward you and then slowly unraveling his scarf. You watch him carefully, completely confused... until he uses the end of it to gently wipe your face. Despite its tattered appearance, his scarf is actually super soft. 

"WHO HURT YOU?" he asks, his boisterous voice softer than you've ever heard it, and much more intense. 

"No one," you partially lie, dropping your gaze to your chest. His stare is too intense; you can't directly look into the smoldering embers of his eyelights.

"LIAR," he chastises, knowing your history all too well. "WAS IT YOUR FAMILY?"

"No." It actually kind of was, but that wasn't the _main_ cause.

"ONE OF US?" 

"No!" You'd fought with Edge, but that was just the tip of the iceberg.

"... YOUR EX?"

This time, your denial held much less conviction ("No..."), and Edge saw through it. 

"I'LL MAKE HIM PAY FOR HURTING YOU," he vowed, a deeper, more guttural growl to his voice than usual. 

"Don't. Edge, please, don't make things worse." You were tired--so tired--and now you really just wanted to go to sleep. You stood, swaying on your feet. Not only were you still drunk, but you were even more dehydrated than before. Your face felt puffy from crying, too. You attempted to skirt around Edge, but he didn't make it easy. "Move. I want to go to bed," you said rather bluntly. The alcohol did a fantastic job of cutting right through your filter.

Edge narrowed his eyesockets, but complied, following you out into the hall as you caught yourself against the wall and started toward the stairs. You heard an exasperated huff, and then Edge grabbed you from behind, scooping you over his shoulder. You initially flailed, disoriented, but his grip was iron. "STOP SQUIRMING. I'M GOING TO HELP YOU UPSTAIRS BEFORE YOU FALL AND BREAK SOMETHING!"

Oh. That's actually nice of him. Unfortunately, his shoulder is pressing into your stomach, and you've had too much to drink. Every step just further jars his sharp bone right into your abdomen, and it isn't long before you're desperately gripping the back of his shirt.

"Edge? H-hey, put me down," you blurt in a rush.

"WE'RE ALMOST THERE!"

"But... But I..." 

Whoops. That soft scarf of Edge's? Yeah, you just threw up all over it. 

 

** Crooks: **

In this case, you had been over at Axe's and Crooks's house for a sleepover when you ended up falling apart in their bathroom, trying to muffle your cries by covering your mouth. You thought you were being quiet, even if it felt loud in the silence of the old house. You thought that Axe had passed out after a little too much to drink, and Crooks had retired early, but...

Crooks didn't sleep much these days.

He saw the light on, and at first, he didn't think anything about it. Normal routine human stuff going on in there; no need to concern himself with the workings of possible excrement in-progress!

However... the more time that passed, the more concerned he began to grow.

He initially was just going to knock and ask if you were feeling ill, but when he paused outside the door with his fist poised to knock, he heard your quiet, desperate sobs, and immediately opened the door.

The lock broke instantly. Damn, you keep forgetting how strong these monsters are! You gasp, shifting further against the wall and wiping your tear-streaked face with the heels of your hands. 

"H-hey, Pa... Papyrus. I was just... going to bed," you lie, quite obviously. Concern is clear on his face as he steps inside and closes the door. Crooks kneels before you, and you feel like his long limbs take up so much space. He still seems huge, even though he's trying -- unsuccessfully -- to meet you at eye-level. 

"ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? WHAT'S WRONG?" he prompts, gingerly reaching out to wipe some of the moisture from your cheek. You sniffle and manage a watery, wry smile.

"I'm sorry... it... it's just that... nothing's going right this week..."

He nods. That's enough; he's not going to force the details out of you. Instead, he offers, "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SLEEP WITH ME IN MY BED? WHENEVER I'M FEELING TERRIBLE, I GET SANS TO READ TO ME. IT REMINDS ME OF... DIFFERENT TIMES. I COULD READ TO YOU, TOO, IF YOU'D LIKE?"

His sincere suggestion actually lessens the pang in your chest. Nodding, you reach out and entwine your fingers with his. "I'd really like that, Papyrus." 

 

** Mutt: **

You'd been staying at Blackberry and Mutt's house again when you finally couldn't take it and had a break-down. Unfortunately for you, Mutt doesn't sleep well during the night, and his bedroom is right by the bathroom. 

One minute, you're crying alone, and the next... Mutt is abruptly sitting beside you, his back against the wall, and one arm draped across his bent knee. You gasp, your body jerking in surprise, and you start to scramble away, but he snags your arm.

"Let go!" you protest, your voice watery. "You scared me half to death!"

He lets go, and with the way you were leaning away from him, you go tumbling sideways and whack your shoulder against the sink. Ouch. You mutter curses under your breath, and Mutt actually smirks. 

"didn't m'lord tell you this place is haunted? ghosts are known to just pop up."

"You're not a ghost!" you protest, and he shrugs.

"maybe i am." 

He's so infuriating that you've completely forgotten you were crying moments before. Instead, you're furiously wiping your face while he watches you with a quiet intensity. 

"Whatever. I'm going to bed." You turn back toward him as he begins to push himself off the floor. " _Alone._ "

His hand catches yours again. "....actually, i was havin' trouble sleepin'," Mutt suddenly admits, causing you to pause with your back turned toward him, halfway to the door. "do you wanna watch some tv with me? maybe see what kind of stupid shit passes for comedy for humans?"

That actually sounds really nice. You suck in a breath and sigh, deciding to relent. 

For his sake.

"Okay, I'll turn on Netflix."


	13. "Guys, it's 3AM!   What the--"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Entirely based on [this wonderful fanart](https://tyranttortoise.tumblr.com/post/166574051008/jolie-in-the-underground-congrats) drawn by the ever-talented [joliemariella](http://archiveofourown.org/users/joliemariella/pseuds/joliemariella)!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, let's call this canon. 100% canon. I would've put it in the main fic, but it was on the short side.

Red had too much to drink; that was the only explanation he could derive for actually having a decent time and not kicking out Mutt and Blackberry the moment you went to sleep. 

The drinks had been flowing during a movie marathon featuring some of your favorite Halloween movies. The Nightmare before Christmas, Corpse Bride, Halloween Town, Hocus Pocus--you'd introduced the skeletons to a plethora of fictional skeletons and Halloween magic alike. Halfway through the marathon, Stretch and Red broke out the booze, and the rest of the skeletons followed suit. The movies suddenly became funnier; Sans, Stretch, and Red were making more puns, Papyrus and Blue acted morally offended and then started trying to make even better jokes, and Q began popping in to overlap with the characters and play the part of extras in the scenes--which drove Edge insane. 

Of course, most of these shenanigans went on as long as they did because you were there, laughing hysterically and joining in with the banter. 

Mutt and Blackberry stopped by, some lame excuse to explain their presence on the latter's tongue until he realized what was going on within the lodge. The others were in such a good mood that no one protested when you spread an arm wide and said, "Mutt, Blackberry! Get in here and have a seat and a drink! Come on, come on!"

Even those two loosened up with a few drinks. Everyone was having a strangely nice time, and Red couldn't help but think that it had a lot to do with the human sitting next to him. He kept up his pun game, hoping to earn more melodic laughter from you, but you didn't respond. Instead, your head lolled onto his shoulder, your eyes closed, and the drink you'd been nursing clasped lightly in your lap.

"....sweetheart?" he'd asked, jostling you lightly with his elbow. You hummed automatically and snuggled closer into the floof of his hood. 

He felt his magic flush his cheekbones as he gingerly ran his thumb along the edge of your hand, before carefully working your drink free so you didn't spill the dregs across both of your laps. 

"WHAT A LIGHTWEIGHT! SHE ALREADY PASSED OUT!" Blackberry complained, obviously pouting since he and his brother had only been there for an hour. Mutt was already lying on the floor with his hood over his head, and he nodded and mumbled some sort of half-hearted agreement.

"SHE LACKS STAMINA! THIS IS WHY I NEED TO TAKE HER FOR SOME EARLY-MORNING TRAINING!" Edge agreed, and Red shuddered to think about what that would entail. Probably arguing on both sides after he concocted some sort of obstacle course in the woods for you to navigate. 

"eh, just let her sleep," Stretch interjected as he noticed Blue creeping closer and closer to you. The smaller skeleton's cheeks puffed out in a pout, and he turned back toward his brother.

"BUT WHY? I DON'T WANT THE NIGHT TO BE OVER ALREADY!" 

Red personally had been content to let you use him for a pillow all night. His arm had already managed to slip over your shoulders, keeping you secure to his side. He couldn't stop glancing down at your lips, his thoughts drifting back to the last time all of you had drank together. 

_Show me instead._

He hadn't gotten the chance to talk to you about it yet--and now that you'd made it clear that you weren't rushing into anything, he had decided not to bring it up. 

But that didn't mean that he didn't long to do it again. 

"THE NIGHT DOESN'T HAVE TO END, BLUE!" Papyrus insisted, standing up to cross the room and stand directly in front of you. "WE'LL JUST PUT Y/N TO BED AND CONTINUE!"

Red wanted to protest as Papyrus leaned down and scooped you into his arms, your head cradled against the taller skeleton's shoulder, and his arm hooked beneath your knees. But, he couldn't--not when the others were agreeing and Papyrus was already bounding upstairs with you carefully tucked in his arms. 

Red expected to be sullen after that; he anticipated that your absence would change the mood, but instead... the others only seemed to let loose. When Papyrus returned, Mutt was smoking a dog treat on the floor, and Stretch had lit up his own cigarette to go hand-in-hand with the alcohol. Blue and Blackberry had changed over the input on the TV to compete in a video game, while Sans kicked back on the armrest of the couch to watch. 

Usually, Red didn't smoke outside of his room--and that was rare enough these days. It always sparked a fight with Edge in the Underground, so it had been something he'd poorly hidden during his patrol routes. At one point, he'd stolen smokes from Stretch, but nowadays, the skeleton with the lazy smirk had taken to suckers to satiate his oral fixation instead. It was no secret _why_ he'd cut back on smoking, so Red took it as a sign to stop sneaking his as much, too. 

But right now, with this many tipsy skeletons? Yeah, he's lighting up a cig. Surprisingly, Edge doesn't even comment. It probably has to do with Blackberry's presence; Edge doesn't bark orders at Red nearly as much when the tiny tyrant's around. 

Time passes with Papyrus cheering on both Black and Blue, and Q quite obviously messes with them, but at this point, they're too intoxicated to notice. 

Red and Sans start mixing their own shots and daring each other to drink them. They're terrible concoctions, made of whiskey, vodka, and the remnants of whatever's in the fridge. Sans makes Red a Glitter-tini shot, and Red downs it with hollow sockets. That wasn't the edible glitter. He gets his retaliation by cracking a raw egg into Sans's next shot. Sans puts on his best shit-eating grin, informs him that it's an _egg_ cellent choice, and downs it with the same hollow-eyed expression his edgier mirror had. 

Edge even gets involved. His concoctions are the worst, but he's able to handle Sans's hot sauce, whiskey, and olives shot without batting an eyesocket. All of the shots he makes are half-vinegar, half-alcohol, and Red ends up drinking all of them. At least he's used to the taste. 

Papyrus gets in on the drink-mixing next, claiming he's going to make the greatest drink ever. Everyone else backs away from the tall glass Papyrus ends up holding, but Mutt gets off the floor long enough to drink it--a suicide mix of all the previous drinks. 

His fortitude is impressive; he gives Papyrus a thumbs up that has the tall skeleton beaming, and then Mutt promptly goes to lie on the floor and feel like garbage. 

The next moments are a blur. The world is coming in and out of focus, and things are beginning to run together. When did Red end up on the floor, sitting beneath the TV and smoking what had to be his fifth cigarette? 

"SPIN THE BOTTLE?" Papyrus queries, and Red snaps back into reality long enough to notice the empty bottle in the middle of their loose circle. Mutt's on the floor beside him, still dead to the world, while Edge is sitting on the couch, Stretch slouched in the middle, and Sans perched on the opposite armrest again. Blackberry is lying facedown on the floor, muttering muffled curses into the lodge's floorboards. It's safe to assume he lost the impromptu gaming competition. 

Blueberry's sitting on the other side of Red, a bony brow quirked. "ISN'T THAT THE KISSING GAME?" 

"KISSING GAME?" Edge is instantly trying not to seem as interested as he is. "THAT SOUNDS STUPID!" He crosses his arms and looks over to Stretch and Sans. "WELL?"

"well what?" Stretch responds, lifting a brow. Smoke curls out past his teeth. 

Edge rolls his eyelights. "HOW DO YOU PLAY?!"

Sans answers this time, shrugging. "you spin a bottle, and whoever the top points at, you kiss."

Blackberry abruptly lifts his head from the ground. "THAT'S SUCH A DEVIOUSLY SIMPLE PLAN! ALL I HAVE TO DO IS GET THE HUMAN TO PLAY IT WITH ME!!"

Blue's attention snaps to the tiny tyrant. "WHO SAYS THE BOTTLE WOULD LAND ON YOU?!"

Blackberry scoffs. "OBVIOUSLY I WOULD PLAY IT PRIVATELY WITH JUST THE TWO OF US!"

Papyrus cups his chin with his hand. "THAT SOUNDS AGAINST THE RULES. IS IT AGAINST THE RULES??" His gaze darts to his brother.

"yep."

Papyrus's shoulders sag in relief. "WHEW!" He glances at the empty bottle and leans his back against the wall. 

It sounds like a good idea to Red. A way to get another kiss from you? He's on board. Would it be too cheesy if he came up to the loft with a bottle and asked you to play with him? Or would you melt beneath his roguish smirk, face flushing that delightful shade of red, and then coyly assent?

While he's lost in the fantasy, Stretch suddenly slides off the couch to crouch in front of him. He grabs the bottle and smirks. Red's brow furrows.

"the hell ya doin'?"

He shrugs, completely nonchalant. "demonstrating a practice round."

Red hears someone mutter from above him, "oh, _this_ is going to be good." At first, the voice scares him; he jerks his head back so hard that he whacks his skull against the wall, causing him to curse and rub the tender spot. Then, he remembers where he's sitting--that the A.I. skeleton has been partaking in the event from the smart TV that _conveniently_ was ordered as soon as Q began showing up more around the lodge. There was even a camera in the living room, undoubtedly zoomed in on their gathering. 

* _no good can come of this, asshole._

"what's the point if we're playin' by ourselves?" Red scoffed, kicking his leg out toward the bottle. Unfortunately, Stretch's reflexes are just as good as Red's; he smoothly pulls the bottle away. 

"you never listen. i said it's a demo round." Stretch's lazy grin hitches up into a smirk. "unless you're nervous that it's gonna land on you. c'mon, what're the odds?"

Q pipes up again. "around 14%."

Sans snickers, and Red groans. Stretch spins the bottle, and Red's drunk enough that it feels like the room spins with it. 

Of course, the bottle lands on Red. Either someone stopped it on him with their magic, or he's got _that_ kind of shit luck. 

"you really do have that kinda luck, pal," Sans muses, laughing. 

In the next moment, Stretch is straddling Red's lap, planting a hand on either side of his head. His smirk is shit-eating, and the cigarette bobs between his teeth as he leans in and asks, "ready for a smooch?"

"fuck you!" Red sputters, nearly losing his own cigarette. From the mirth shining in Stretch's eyelights, he can tell his buddy is just fucking with him, but still. "it landed on q! kiss him!"

The A.I. can't stop laughing. "sorry, but it's pointing right at _you._ "

Blueberry looks traumatized, his expression stricken. "YOU'RE NOT REALLY GOING TO KISS RED, ARE YOU, PAPY?"

Papyrus pats Blue on the top of the skull. "STRETCH IS JUST PLAYING A JAPE ON RED! IT'S NOT A VERY GOOD ONE, BUT HE GETS AN E FOR EFFORT!"

Blackberry is struggling to push himself off the ground, but the only thing he really manages to lift is his boney ass. "THE HELL GOES ON IN THIS LODGE?!" 

Edge is furious. "THERE WILL BE NO DEBAUCHERY IN THIS LODGE! ASH-TRASH, GET YOUR ASS OUT OF MY BROTHER'S LAP THIS INSTANT!"

"Guys! It's 3AM! What the--" 

Your voice breaks into the midst of the commotion, and Red freezes. So does everyone else, their eyelights slowly shifting to you. You take in the scene slowly, noticing that Mutt is passed out with both middle fingers on full display, Papyrus is bent over Blackberry to help him up--which put him in a rather compromising position, and Stretch is firmly seated on Red's lap. 

Sans is laughing so hard that he's almost crying. He clasps his hands together. "please tell me you recorded this, q. _please._ "

Q's laughing even harder than Sans, physical LOL's popping up around him on the screen. "trust me, there's _no way_ i wouldn't record this," he manages. 

"You know what?" you mutter tiredly. "Nevermind."

You turn around and head back up to the loft, ignoring the cries of "WAIT, COME BACK, HUMAN! YOU SHOULD JOIN US!" and "Y/N, WE CAN PLAY SPIN THE BOTTLE THE RIGHT WAY IF YOU'RE AWAKE!"

The next day, Q plays the scene on every monitor he can manage in the lodge. On repeat. 

Red breaks his phone and goes out for a walk in the woods. It's a good day to start smoking again.


	14. Ch 26 Family Dinner: Skelebros' POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A couple of scenes from the Family Dinner chapter from the POV of Sans and Papyrus.

She was going to cry. 

It wasn't something Sans saw often; she was good at stomping down her emotions, burying them deep beneath patience and hope. It reminded him almost of himself -- only minus the hope. It was simple enough to hide stress and wariness behind a grin and a light-hearted joke, but her veneer was cracking as much as her voice had been. 

With shining eyes and clenched fists, she fled from the dining room, mumbling a garbled apology as she headed straight for the front entrance. The silence following the slam of the door was awkward to say the least. 

Her mother had the decency to look concerned, but her father just seemed pissed off at the outburst. Sans could have made a quip, some sort of joke to make light of the situation and cut through the tension.

But he didn't feel like it. 

So he wadded up his napkin, set it on his plate, and stood up. Papyrus started to rise, too, but Sans set a hand on his shoulder. "i'll be right back, bro."

"OH... OKAY!"

With that, Sans followed her outside, quietly slipping past the door. She was standing at the bottom of the stairs, swiping at her cheeks with the thin sleeve of her blouse and shivering. 

_*she's trembling. is she that angry?_

_*or maybe... it's just that cold._

_*looks like her mom was right about one thing -- she should've worn a jacket._

He sighed softly and slipped his jacket from his shoulders. It wasn't something he parted with easily, although the cold really didn't bother him. His bones weren't nearly as sensitive as skin. 

Sans tossed the jacket over her shoulders, which caused her to jump. 

_*kid really needs to pay more attention to her surroundings._

"here kid. don't want you giving me _the cold shoulder._ " he joked, winking as she turned around to face him. Her cheeks were flushed from a combination of the cold and crying, and she looked miserable. 

"Thanks. I'm sorry about... everything in there." She was looking down, refusing to look him in the eyesocket, even as she slipped her arms through the sleeves of his jacket. It looked good on her, he had to admit. Blue was really her color.

"hey, don't sweat it. i get what's going on." 

_*she apologizes too much as it is._

_*not like she can help how her family is._

Sans plopped down on a step, and she sat beside him with an exasperated sigh. “You get that my parents hate monsters and think you’re going to kill me and ditch my body in the woods when I let down my guard?”

_*can't say i really blame them. people don't trust what they don't understand._

_*for a while, none of us trusted humans._

_*sometimes, i still don't._

“most humans aren’t as tolerant as you are with the whole monster thing. especially skeleton monsters."

_*even she called us zombies the first time we met. poor kid was terrified._

"they tend to think we’re the undead,” he added with a chuckle and knocked his elbow into her upper arm.

She scoffed, lifting her head. “I had a head injury when I thought you guys were zombies, and I didn’t threaten you! And you get that they think I’ve ruined my life by quitting my job?”

_*we'd never ditch her without a source of income, not that her folks understand that._

_*she's a good person. we wouldn't do that to her._

_*at least she knows that._

_*... doesn't she?_

“not like we’re going to suddenly skip town or stop paying rent. do you worry about that? we could go ahead and buy it from you if you want, but i thought...”

_*we could've bought it from the start, but it seemed like she needed a friend._

_*--almost as much as we needed one. it certainly helps having someone around that isn't just another iteration of me an' paps._

_*it makes things feel almost normal. everyone is a little happier, a little more tolerable._

_*even if it feels like i'm just paying her to stay with us so i don't lose my mind._

“You thought?” 

_*it's her lodge; she deserves to keep it._

_*paps and i don't need a place that big if it's just us._

_*but will she even want to stay there after i fix everything?_

“i thought you’d like to keep the lodge. ya’know, after.”

From the look on her face, he could tell she knew what he meant: after the machine's fixed. Thankfully, she didn't push him on the issue. He didn't know what he'd tell her if she did. “I don’t need you to give me more money. I’m fine with rent. I’ve got more than enough, and I’m not worried about finances. I’m just sorry. I’m sorry my dad was an ass to you and Paps. I should’ve just come alone.”

_*there she goes again, shouldering the blame for crappy people being crappy._

“hey.” Sans slipped an arm around her shoulders and tugged her against his side. She was extra-soft thanks to the padding of his jacket. “it’s ok. you don’t have to do anything alone, kiddo. you’ve got us now. i mean, you really stood up to your old man back there. you probably wouldn’t have done that if we hadn’t been there, right?”

He noticed the way she relaxed against him, sinking her weight into his ribs. All the tension drained from her on a sigh. She nodded against his shoulder. “well that’s a step in the right direction. you let him know how you feel and what you wish he’d do differently.”

“Thank you, Sans. Is Papyrus okay in there?"

“yeah, pap’s fine. he’s just smoothing things over.”

_*i'm not worried about him._

_*the first year we spent on the surface, he was the best monster mascot we could've asked for. never met a stranger, and he answered all the weird, probing questions with stride._

_*he's handled worse than a couple of scared parents._

###### 

Papyrus watched as Sans left the dining room and quickly turned to her parents before the silence could become even more awkward.

"I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT Y/N, BUT YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR WITH US! WE WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO HURT HER!"

He would _never_ hurt her! She's one of his coolest friends! She's fun to be around, when they cook together, he feels at ease, and she always considers the others' feelings. He thinks she's a genuinely good person, and those kind of people should be protected!

That's why he understood why her parents are so upset. He and his skeleton family are strangers, living with their daughter in the woods. Her parents just don't realize that her monsters friends are looking out for her yet, but he'll make sure they see that!

Her father sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. It was a sign of a human headache, Papyrus thought. "But haven't you hurt her already?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN??" The skeleton was genuinely confused. 

The human man met Papyrus's gaze. "She quit her job because of you, left her home, and moved into the middle of nowhere. You don't think that hurts her future?"

Her mother added, "And she left her boyfriend. They'd been together since high school! I was so sure they were going to get married soon."

"I DON'T THINK WE HURT HER FUTURE! SHE WAS UNHAPPY WITH HER JOB! SHE'S INTELLIGENT ENOUGH THAT SHE COULD EASILY FIND ANOTHER EVEN BETTER JOB, BUT SHE ENJOYS BEING OUR LANDLADY! AND SHE'S HELPED RESTORE THE LODGE, TOO!" 

He was mostly thinking about the way she helped Blackberry get a refrigerator and stove--and perform an exorcism. But, he decides that he probably should leave those details out for now. 

Papyrus considered the matter of her ex for a moment. It was true that her boyfriend broke up with her because she refused to stop being friends with the skeletons, yes. If they hadn't been there, or if some of the others hadn't intervened when she was wasted at the bar, she would likely still be in that same relationship, just going through the motions. 

"AND I THINK THAT THEIR BREAK-UP WAS FOR THE BEST!"

Her mother gave him a knowing look. "Of course you think that. You said earlier that you want to take her on a date."

Papyrus felt his cheeks flush slightly. Perhaps he had been a bit overzealous when he admitted that particular fact, but he believed in putting his cards on the table. "I DO!! BUT EVEN BEFORE I DID, I STILL THOUGHT IT WAS FOR THE BEST! AND IT'S NOT LIKE ME! I ALWAYS WANT THINGS TO TURN OUT WELL FOR EVERYONE. I DON'T LIKE BREAK-UPS! BUT WHEN SOMETHING IS GOING THAT WRONG, STAYING TOGETHER FOR THE SAKE OF STAYING TOGETHER IS JUST PLAIN UNHEALTHY!"

Her father narrowed his eyes, frowning. "You don't know what you're talking about. If it was going that wrong, she wouldn't have still been with him." 

"I ONLY KNEW HER FOR A WEEK OR SO BEFORE SHE BROKE UP WITH HIM, BUT EVEN THEN, I COULD TELL!" Papyrus insisted. "HE WAS MEAN TO HER AND MADE HER SLEEP IN ANOTHER BEDROOM, WHERE SHE CALLED ME JUST TO HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK TO WHILE SHE WENT TO BED! WHEN SHE REFUSED TO GIVE HIM HER PHONE, HE WENT OFF TO DRINK AND THEN THREW ALL OF HER BELONGINGS IN THE YARD!" Both of her parents stared at him and then glanced at one another. Obviously, this version of the story didn't match up to the image they had in their head of their so-called-almost-son-in-law. 

It almost made Papyrus feel guilty. He didn't like talking about people when they weren't around to defend themselves. "I'M NOT SAYING HE'S ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE! I'M JUST SAYING THAT SHE WAS UNHAPPY BEING WITH HIM! SHE CAME TO THE LODGE ORIGINALLY BECAUSE SHE NEEDED TO GET AWAY--AND SHE REALLY NEEDED SOME FRIENDS. WE DECIDED TO BE THAT FOR HER BECAUSE SHE'S A GREAT PERSON THAT DESERVES SUPPORT!" His smile turned tender, and he spread out his hands. "AND FROM WHAT SHE JUST SAID, THAT SEEMS TO BE ALL SHE WANTS FROM YOU, TOO!"

They were both quiet, processing his honesty. Finally, her father spoke up. "You're blunt... Papuss, was it?"

"PA _PYRUS_."

"Papyrus," he corrected. "I like it when people are blunt. You see, I don't have time for bullshit, especially when it concerns my daughter. I never knew he threw her things onto the lawn. I'd kick his ass for less. Hell, I'd kick the ass of anyone that hurts my daughter."

"YOU'RE TRYING TO LOOK OUT FOR HER."

"It's what every father does," the man replied, shrugging. "And I can also tell that you genuinely want to look out for her."

"I JUST WANT HER TO BE HAPPY!! SHE'S A REALLY COOL PERSON, AND SHE DESERVES IT!"

Her mother was giving him a weird smile that left him slightly unnerved, while her father was just nodding and staring at his plate of food. Before Papyrus could think of anything to add, however, they heard voices coming from outside. One of them was definitely masculine--but it wasn't the same low baritone of his brother's voice.

"More skeletons?" her dad prompted, looking at Papyrus, who shook his head.

"Speak of the devil," her mom murmured, rising from her chair. "I think that's her ex-boyfriend now."

"The hell is he doing here?" 

She shrugged slightly, moving toward the living room. Papyrus slowly rose from his chair, and the father followed suit. "Well... he _did_ text us about those photos on Facebook. So..." She trails off, disappearing into the next room. 

The man sighed and balled up his napkin to toss on his half-eaten plate of food. "Well c'mon. Let's see what all the commotion is about."

Papyrus and the parents eavesdropped for a while, letting the ex dig his own grave. Her father was becoming more and more angry, but before he could burst through the front door himself, the lanky skeleton pushed the door open and placed his hands on his hips in disapproval. While he was content with his brother's ability to handle the situation, not even someone as great as Papyrus could keep his cool during this kind of absolute slander.

“HEY! I KNOW WHAT THAT WORD MEANS, AND I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT NONE OF US HAVE EVER DIED! NOR HAVE WE ENGAGED IN THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOR WITH Y/N!!”

Sans snickered as the Landlady tensed with mortification and whipped her head back around to see her _parents_ standing witness to the entire exchange. 

_*i knew paps could handle it no problem._


	15. CH 31: Red Like Roses (Red POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ask was for Red's POV during the Valentine's Day chapter, as well as why Red thought it was Sans that gave her the flowers.
> 
> What can I say. I'm weak for Red.

Valentine's Day was just another stupid human holiday to Red. If he had it his way, he would've used it as an excuse to buy you something nice -- not that he needed the excuse, but he knew how you felt about locking down a relationship.

He also knew how it felt to kiss you, however, and how you felt cradled in his arms, your fingers furled into the fur of his jacket...

A knock at the door broke him out of his daydream, causing him to stir on his bed. He hadn't been sleeping, but he also hadn't felt like doing anything other than just lying there and mindlessly scrolling on his phone. "who's there?" he called out, somewhat irritably. It was probably Stretch or Sans. The others had a much more energetic knock.

"Dishes."

Instantly, Red sat up at the sound of the familiar voice, his phone forgotten. He wasn't expecting it to be you. 

And you were indulging him with a knock knock joke at the same time. He loved those. Shifting, Red moved to stand and crossed the floor in several easy strides until he was just on the other side of the door. "dishes who?" he asked in amusement, his hand hovering over the doorknob.

"Dishes not the time for jokes, Red."

A smirk curved his sharp teeth -- it always felt as if his smile was more genuine whenever you were around -- and he opened the door. "that was a pretty good one, sweetheart," he commented, before his eyelights were drawn to the rather large rose bouquet you were carrying. 

_*holy hell_.

There had been a pact between him and the others after you announced that you didn't like Valentine's Day. Most of the others still wanted to get you a card or something -- which would inevitably end up being more than cards as the more creative skeletons attempted to one-up each other -- but it had been Stretch and Sans that put their feet down on the matter and formed a truce with the rest. They agreed not to get you anything, and to instead just indulge in discount chocolate with you the following day. 

But apparently, just because you didn't want to be overwhelmed by presents didn't mean you couldn't buy _him_ something.

"come on in." He stepped aside, letting you into his room. He always enjoyed having you in it; you always seemed so at ease, as if you belonged there. Of course, it _is_ your lodge, but he likes to think most of the ease comes from the fact that you originally stayed in his room before you moved into the loft. 

As he closed the door, you set the vase of flowers down on his desk and then had a seat on his bed. 

"I told you I didn't want to celebrate Valentine's Day," you quietly remarked, your face flushed. 

_*so fuckin' adorable._

You were nervous about giving him the gift, clearly. Even your posture was a little stiff, hands demurely set in your lap, and your gaze downcast to his chest. 

Red couldn't keep his smirk from growing; his very SOUL was thrumming through his body. His gaze kept shifting between you and the flowers as he slowly strolled toward you. The roses were a deep red, the same color as his namesake and so obviously selected just for him, and --

\-- and there was even a SOUL charm dangling from the ribbon. 

It was the ultimate gift of intimacy, a special gift he never would have imagined he'd get from anyone, let alone someone like you. He meant it when he said you were too good for the lot of them; they didn't deserve you. He didn't deserve you.

Red wasn't about to question the intricacies of the universe that made this moment happen, however. Instead, he settled a knee on the edge of the mattress, leaning in close to you. 

"yet here you are, doll."

His voice had dropped an octave, barely more than a hushed whisper as he thanked his lucky stars that you'd come to him. Your gaze finally lifted and met his, and you set a gentle palm on his sternum. Could you feel the steady thrum of his soul, calling out to you? He could still see your abashment, but he also picked up that you were conflicted. Obviously, you were shy when it came to initiating, wanting him to do it himself. Why else would you be looking between his eyelights and his teeth? 

That's perfectly fine by Red; he's an accommodating sort of guy.

A possessive, nigh-predatory growl built within his chest as he leaned down further, his teeth intent on claiming your mouth.

And then your gentle caress of his sternum turned into a firm blockade as you pushed against his chest that stopped him immediately. Shuttered sockets opened wide, and he pulled back slightly to hold your gaze. Your face was flushed darker, but there was something in your expression that cut right through his euphoria. His mouth felt dry, when only seconds ago, his tongue had been slavering behind his fangs. "somethin' the matter?"

"I didn't come in here for that." You said it like it's obvious, catching him off-guard. Did he completely misread the signals? 

But... _the flowers._

Communication is key, right? The two of you have talked about that before, so he decided to run you through his thought process and figure out where the wires got crossed.

"sorry, i, uh... you buy a guy flowers like _that_ after makin' a big deal about not celebratin' v-day, and i--"

You cut him off, "Wait, you think _I_ bought those flowers?"

You didn't buy him the flowers? He felt his brow ridges knit together as he looked between you and the vase on his desk. If you didn't buy him the flowers, then why did you bring them in here?

Unless...

You made the same assumption Red did and thought that _he_ bought you the flowers. That made perfect sense, and as much as Red wished he could say it was true, he didn't break the truce. 

_*those god damn rat bastards!_

"aw... _shit._ one of those other assholes went back on their word an' bought ya flowers? those sneaky bastards!" He knew he was scowling, but he couldn't help it. Everything that he'd been hoping for just crashed and burned around him.

_*i shoulda played dirty, too, but i was tryin' to be good and play by the damn rules for her sake._

"What are you even talking about? I came here because I thought _you_ bought me the flowers. There isn't a card attached."

Red had already surmised as much. He glares at the little soul charm affixed to the ribbon. "well their intent is fuckin' crystal clear," he snaps, shooting to his feet to flick the little crystal charm. His pun is unintentional.

He's so pissed that he can't help but pace in front of his desk, a growl building in his chest. Finally, he realized that he was being ridiculous and heavily sighed, before sinking back onto the mattress. 

"What did you mean, 'went back on their word', Red? What are you so pissed about?"

You're clueless. You probably don't even realize what the soul charm's significance is. 

_*i'll be damned if i help the asshole out and tell her._

"it don't matter," he muttered, almost under his breath. Suddenly, you hand touched his arm and gently rubbed it. 

"It's not a big deal, you know. You don't have to get so pissed."

You really have no idea how crushed he felt. It had been his fault for assuming, of course. He should have realized the flowers weren't from you the moment he saw the soul charm. You haven't done that much research into monster customs -- not to his knowledge, anyway.

Yet, you were still trying to comfort him and calm him down. 

He closed his eyes, sucked in a deep inhale, and then let his shoulders relax on the exhale. He didn't even need to breathe, but it admittedly helped. "we said we weren't gonna buy ya anythin' since you didn't seem to like the holiday. didn't wanna overwhelm ya, either, with anyone tryin' to get a leg up on someone else, ya'know?"

"Well, it wasn't you, and it wasn't Stretch."

That means you asked Stretch first. He was probably the closest to the door; he tended to hang out downstairs whenever he was in the lodge, likely because his room was such a disaster zone. Red didn't peg Stretch as the type that would go back on the truce, anyway. Neither would Papyrus or his brother; flowers weren't Edge's thing. Blueberry might pull that shit; he could be sneaky at times, but he did have a moral code -- and he would have _definitely_ left a card. Same with that A.I. bastard. Flashy was his style judging by the expensive-ass Halloween costume he had prepared for you even after you purchased the store-bought one, but as far as Red knew, the soul charm significance wasn't something his world shared with the _organic monsters._

He wanted to roll his eyelights, but refrained.

The others in the woods would have left a card to get a rise out of them, Red knew, which left only one possible person.

Sans.

"probably vanilla," he muttered the revelation aloud, drawing a skeptical eyebrow raise from you.

"You really think he'd go back on his word and leave me anonymous flowers?"

Sans had been firm on the truce, sure, but Red also knew that vanilla had been growing closer to you ever since just after Gyftmas. He wasn't stupid; he caught the smiles Sans gave you, the way he seemed to gravitate closer whenever you were in the room. You'd both come home drunk one night, and you were _giggling_ over one of Sans's stupid puns, while he had his arm around your waist and his jacket draped over your shoulders. 

Something had happened at Grillby's, and it only took one trip there and no effort to get a bird monster to sing about the kiss you two had shared.

It had put him in a foul mood, but the only thing he faulted Sans for was the fact that vanilla had gotten onto _him_ for being alone drunk with you in the woods on Freedom Day and then turned around and decided to be a hypocritical bastard. It was as if the rules didn't apply to him just because it was his timeline! 

Clearly, Sans didn't trust himself. Red couldn't blame him there, but that just meant that _he_ didn't trust himself, either. 

Which meant that Sans would be the likely rose culprit. 

"i've... i've jus' got a feelin', that's all," Red shrugged, unwilling to let on just how much he knew. The fact that Sans had been growing closer to you hadn't affected their friendship, but it didn't mean Red wasn't a little bitter. It just meant that he was world-class at burying his feelings. 

"I'll just go ask him and see," you simply stated, standing up and gathering the vase into your arms. As you started toward the door, Red suddenly stood from the bed and reached for you.

"wait."

You half-turned, one hand on the doorknob, a quizzical sound issued from your throat.

You had come here thinking that he had sent you the flowers, but you hadn't come to kiss him for his efforts. You'd looked flustered, but you hadn't been angry over it.

He was beginning to sift through your expressions, wondering if he read them wrong since he had the context wrong. There had been a seriousness in the air. If he _had_ sent you the flowers -- if he had declared his feelings instead of playing by the rules...

Does that mean you would've come into his room and rejected him?

He hesitated, the question on the tip of his tongue: What would you have done if those _had_ been from him? What would that conversation have been like?

Red held your gaze, searching for the answers. The trepidation in his chest snuffed out the dregs of his prior good mood.

He suddenly doesn't want to know. 

His gaze dropped. "eh, 's not important. happy v-day and all that jazz, sweetheart."

He heard you move from the door, taking a couple of steps toward him. As soon as he glanced up, your lips gently pressed to Red's cheek, and your free hand came up to touch his sternum through his sweater. "Thanks Red."

And just like that, you'd washed all of those terrible feelings away in one thoughtful gesture. His sharp grin returned, a blush of magic tinging his cheekbones, and with a smile, you headed out his door.

His cheek still tingled with the ghost of your kiss.


	16. Cursed to be a Boneified Pirate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *You have breakfast with a pirate skeleton that you almost mistake for Stretch. However, after the Red and Buc incident, you're a little more careful when it comes to assuming your lodgemates are in costume!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a lovely bonus chapter featuring my sweet soulmate [Essy's AU, SeaSwap!](https://messedupessy.tumblr.com/post/174117314349/finally-after-about-2-months-of-work-and-secrecy) This is her prize since she won my trivia contest a couple of months back, and I agreed to wait to post this chapter until she had his introduction information on her blog. So today's the day you guys get to meet Boney, the pirate version of Stretch!
> 
> This _is_ a canon chapter, but there won't be any additional AU skeletons in my main fic, so any more of those will be posted as bonus chapters here.

_It’s too early to be up,_ you think as you glance at the time on your phone. Since quitting your job, any time before 10AM has simply seemed too early to be awake, but your overzealous lodgemates are quick to wake you up regardless. Their boisterous voices often carry to the loft, or the smell of something burning greets you. There have also been more than a few occasions when Papyrus has practically beaten down your door to ask you to go jogging with him, and the one time you took him up on it, you felt as if you were going to die. He has much more stamina than you ever imagined.

The fact that you woke up before any of those things happened automatically irritates you. It’s a rare day where the lodge is sleeping in. Maybe the overcast morning is throwing off their internal clocks? You really shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, but try as you might, you can’t seem to fall back asleep.

So, you sigh and decide to start your day. You could always make some pancakes. The look on Papyrus and Blue’s faces when they saw them would make waking up early worth it. You could make some with blueberries, some with chocolate chips, and some with a fluffy peanut butter spread. Edge is the only one that would complain about your choice, but after a bite, he usually shuts up and mutters beneath his breath that it’s adequate. You’ve learned that it’s high praise coming from him. 

After throwing a robe over your pajamas and running a brush through your hair, you head downstairs. About halfway down, you pause and sniff the air. You can smell spices, and the scent is getting stronger the closer you get to the living room. Someone else must be awake, but you can’t quite place the smell. Did they cook something? Is it cologne or perfume? 

When you reach the bottom landing, you turn into the living room and your brows raise in surprise. Stretch is sitting on the couch, leaned back with one arm draped across the back. He’s dressed strangely, an orange, patterned scarf wrapped around his head and his waist adorned in skirts, but you’re used to him wearing things like that for shock value or a prank. The source of the spice scent also becomes clear; he’s holding an ivory pipe carved into the shape of a skull. 

You take a couple of steps closer and then pause. 

You’re wrong.

“You’re not Stretch,” you blurt in lieu of a proper greeting. Now that you’ve gotten more than just a cursory glance, you realize that you had been close to making the same mistake you made with Red and Buc. This skeleton is clad in pirate garb, complete with a long-sleeved, white shirt open to reveal several glittering necklaces and strings of pearls down the front, a corset cinching their spine, and several belts criss-crossing with hip satchels. The skeleton’s grin widens, matching an expression you usually only find on Stretch, but the heavy eyeliner and tooth gap between the front two teeth definitely sets them apart. This one even has a nose ring through his nasal bone-- and it looks just as flashy as the rest of his jewelry. 

“right ye are, lassie!” The skeleton extinguishes the pipe and then slips it down the front of his shirt. He stands to take your hand, bending with a flourish that draws attention to the numerous rings on his hands. “boney the skeleton, at your service.” 

You can’t help but blink, wondering if you heard that right. “Your nickname’s Boney?”

“my _name’s_ boney. ironic, considerin’, aye?” He chuckles and straightens, dropping your hand. He’s got the same laid-back grin as Stretch, so you can’t help but feel at ease... but at the same time, you weren’t expecting visitors. 

You give him your name, and then cut to the chase. “Did you come here to see someone or are you stopping by for something?”

He nods. “sorry for the lack o’ manners. didn’t mean to barge in, but i expected stretch to be awake by now. or at least that brother o’ his-- and he’d be bound to wake the whole lodge in his excitement. i didn’t get to touch base during the holidays, so i decided to stop by now. hope you don’t mind the intrusion.”

Well, at least he’s well-mannered. You can’t help but smile and shake your head. “It’s all right. I’m sure the others will be down soon. I was actually going to make them some pancakes. Would you like any?”

He quirks a brow, seeming surprised by the offer. “you’re gonna cook for this lot? lemme help; that’s a heck of a lot o’ pancakes.”

Since he seems to be similar to Stretch--and Stretch knows how to cook-- you take him up on his offer, and the two of you head into the kitchen. He rummages through the fridge, while you pull the pancake mix from the pantry and start gathering the other ingredients. He grabs his own mixing bowl and sets to work with ease. 

Standing beside him like this makes you feel rather underdressed, however. You can’t help but admire his jewels. 

“So you’re a pirate, right?” you blurt, causing him to bark a sudden laugh.

“that obvious, huh? aye, you’re right again.”

“Are you one of Buc’s friends?”

“ah, buc! yes, but we only met after we ended up in this timeline. we share a love for the sea, but he and his brother aren’t the crew i’d actually run with. i prefer a _skeleton crew_ o’ just me an’ my bro, pass.”

You’re intrigued about the notion of his brother and start imagining what a pirate Blueberry would act like, when someone else enters the kitchen. The real Stretch takes one look at you and Boney and then breaks into a grin that perfectly mirrors the pirate’s. 

“ya’know, i was just thinking about you the other day,” Stretch greets, stepping forward and pulling his hands from his hoodie’s pockets. 

Boney sets his pancake batter aside and crosses the floor toward Stretch, his own arms rising. “ahoy, ye scallywag!” He pulls Stretch in for a hug, which the latter returns, patting Boney on the back. “‘bout time ye decided t’ show a leg! i ‘bout took a caulk on yer couch, had i not been greeted by this fair lass.” 

You notice the shift in his speech immediately; you had just been thinking that it was nice that you didn’t have to struggle to understand him, but now, he sounds just like Buc. 

“if you take a caulk on my couch, i may just have to throw you overboard,” Stretch quips with a shit-eating grin that has Boney laughing again. The two step back just as Blue and Papyrus simultaneously bound into the kitchen. 

“I THOUGHT I HEARD YOU, BONEY!” Blueberry has literal stars in his eyes while he bounces on the balls of his feet. “IS PASS HERE?” 

Boney shakes his head. “apologies blue honey. pass stayed behind to look into something, so it’s jus’ me this time.” 

Blueberry looks disappointed, but he quickly amends his expression. “THAT’S FINE! MAYBE _YOU_ CAN SHOW TRAIN WITH ME IN SWORDPLAY THEN!”

Papyrus perks up. “OH! I WANT TO TRY THAT, TOO! I DIDN’T GET TO LAST TIME!”

“much as i’d love to, i won’t be here that long, sunshine. i’ve gotta get going back to my bro. but how about breakfast?” 

“you’re helping?” Stretch inquires, stepping closer to peer into Boney’s bowl of batter.

Boney raises his hands. “nothin’ weird this time, i swear. unless you’d like some cackle fruit wit’ yers?” 

Stretch grins. “ _extra_ cackle fruit, please. scrambled.”

“aye aye, pumpkin.”

Boney winks and then turns back to cooking, and you watch as he starts his pancakes and works on scrambling some eggs. You start working on yours, too, pouring the batter and then getting down plates for each skeleton’s stack. 

The smell and the boisterous conversation brings the rest of your lodgemates downstairs. Sans looks happy to see Boney, while Red seems tired at the prospect, and Edge is scowling more than usual.

“GREAT. ANOTHER PIRATE, DROPPING BY UNANNOUNCED.”

Boney smirks and leans toward you. “ol’ edgy’s jus’ mad that i make a point not to share me _booty._ ”

You practically snort, while Edge’s face turns crimson. “ _WHAT!_ ”

“oh, c’mon now, love. you’ve been eyein’ me _jewels_ fer some time now.” Edge sputters a little, until Boney wags his jewel-encrusted fingers toward the mortified skeleton with a positively shit-eating grin. 

“WHO WOULD WANT YOUR GAUDY COSTUME JEWELRY!” Edge spats, before storming off toward the cupboard to pull out his box of tea. You can see the tight clench of his jaw as he works on fixing his tea and pointedly ignoring everyone around him. Out of the corner of your eye, you glimpse Red pinching his nasal ridge in exasperation. 

Sans strides forward and changes the conversation. “good to see you, boney. you staying out of trouble?”

“ahh, we haven’t exactly been checking in with g is what you mean, aye?”

Sans nods, while reaching around you to steal one of your chocolate chips. “yeah, his reports have been sparse regarding you and pass lately.”

“ye worry too much, sansy-boy. we’ve just been doing a little investigatin’ on th’ open seas is all. family matters only, so nothin’ that’ll get us on anyone’s radar. i came today since i thought seein’ me in person might ease yer mind a bit.”

Sans seems to consider this, but instead of pushing Boney, he lets it go. “ok, but remember to check in with g so we don’t worry about you guys. speaking of, where’s your brother?” He glances around, as if expecting another pirate to pop out from behind a door or something.

“pass couldn’t make it, so no worries, lad. your kitchen won’t blow up this time.”

Wait-- _blow up?_

“OH GOOD! THAT WASN’T THE FIRST TIME THE KITCHEN’S BLOWN UP, OF COURSE. BUT IT WAS THE FIRST TIME THE FIRE SPREAD THAT FAR!”

_Fire?!_

You start glancing around for any signs of lingering fire damage, while Sans steadily avoids your gaze. Your poor grandfather’s lodge... You’re beginning to wonder if they only fixed it up so much because they destroyed parts of it.

You and Boney finish breakfast while the others make small talk, and then you bring it to the dining room table to eat. Boney sits beside you, while Edge sits as far away from him as possible, and Blueberry takes the seat on your opposite side. Everyone seems to enjoy the pancakes, and despite the jokes, there doesn’t seem to be anything weird with Boney’s pancakes, either. 

“This is delicious, Boney!” 

“thank you, sweetie. i did a lot of cookin’ on the sea... though most of it used to be back when i was human.”

“That makes sen-- wait.” You nearly choke. “Did you just say _human_?”

He grins as you gawk. The others aren’t phased, so you realize that they must already know. “aye, ye didn’t know? it’s a long story for another time, but i was betrayed, killed, and cursed. does this mean you didn’t know ol’ buc-a-roo used to be human, too?”

You shake your head; that’s news to you. “He didn’t talk much about his timeline.”

“well, i don’t think he was cursed like me an’ pass, but he an’ his bro were murdered all th’ same.” He shrugs, trying to keep the mood light. “t’was a pirate’s life back then, lass, though not really proper table talk for breakfast, aye?”

You take that as him trying to say he’s not going to spill Buc’s story while the other pirate’s not at the table, so you let it drop. However, the fact that he claims he’s cursed still has your curiosity piqued. “What about your curse, though? Is that what turned you into a skeleton? Is there a way to break it, or would that... just make you go away?”

“don’t worry about that, sweetie. the curse is a burden i share with me bro, but we have it under control.” There is something in his gaze that seems guarded, so you decide not to push the matter. You just wish you could help him. He studies you for a moment, before his expression shifts. “though _your_ curse on the other hand... that one you should be concerned about.”

You quirk a brow, while Papyrus leans over the table, worry etched on his face. “YOU MEAN SHE’S CURSED??”

Boney solemnly nods. “how else do you explain all of these skeletons that follow her around? isn’t that a death flag?”

Stretch and Sans chuckle, while Papyrus seems to ponder it. 

“YOU MEAN LIKE THE FLAG I HAVE IN MY ROOM? IS THAT WHAT’S CURSED?”

Sans answers, “nah, but that is a _bone_ -ified pirate flag.”

Papyrus groans. “UGH, I’M GOING TO HAVE TO _FLAG_ THAT AS A TERRIBLE PUN.”

The rest of the table--sans Red and Edge--laugh or chuckle, and the conversation continues as everyone eats. When everyone’s finished and taking their plates to the kitchen, you fall back to Red. “You okay? You’ve been quiet.”

“‘m fine. just hoping he hurries up and leaves. last time he came, he an’ boss ended up sparring with swords for over an hour.” He sighs, grumbling. “boss lost, jus’ barely. he’s still salty about it. i’d rather not sit through a rematch.”

It makes sense why Red’s so wary of Boney being here now; you’re not sure you want to witness a sword fight, either. Edge doesn’t seem like someone that can hold back, and while Boney’s obviously accomplished at swordplay given his occupation, you know it would stress you out. 

Thankfully, by the time Edge demands a rematch, Boney’s already heading out the door.

“not this time, edgy-love. my bro’s waitin’ on me.” 

You and the others follow him outside to say your goodbyes. Stretch and Boney hug again, and Boney rattles off some more pirate slang that you’re not entirely sure isn’t just made up nonsense. Blueberry hugs him next, Papyrus gives him a high-five, and Sans sends him off with a casual wave. 

There’s a motorcycle beside Blueberry’s that you hadn’t noticed before now, and Boney hikes up his numerous, billowy skirts and straddles it. He turns his usual, lazy grin toward you and winks. “keep these boys in line, will ya, sweet thing? next time i visit, i’ll bring pass with me so you can meet him.” He revs the engine and starts to turn around in the gravel driveway, before he pauses and looks over his shoulder. 

“oh yeah! and if you see buc-a-roo before i do, tell that yellow belly that he still owes me big time for our last poker game! if he doesn’t pay up soon, i’ll have to take more than just his toe this time around!”

And with that, he drove away, his skirts flapping behind him in the wind. You stare after him for a while, processing, before you awkwardly laugh and cast a glance toward Stretch.

“... He was joking about the toe thing, right?”

Stretch is silent for a moment, before he finally shrugs. 

“honestly... i have no idea.”


End file.
